I have a 3 year old step daughter. My fiancee and myself have her almost full time. It is very hard because he works nights and I work 2-8pm. He gets home at 11 am and hardly has time to sleep and I am so sick of it. We cannot afford daycare at this time so he tries to get by on little to no sleep. The mother refuses to pay a dime for daycare. When my the girl is with her mother ( which is typically when we drop her off at 9pm and we pick her up at 12pm 2 days a week ) she does not pay her any attention. She gives her toast and then puts in a movie and goes in her room to have sex with her new boyfriend. Now she leaves the door unlocked and since she never drops her off or picks her up I am usually the one to perform this task. I have noticed the door being unlocked and anyone could take my stepdaughter because when i knock she is the one that answers the door! Her mother does not even come out of her room My stepdaughter tellls me "mommy is in her room kissing with ****" what do i do
2006-09-14 06:03:54 · 5 answers · asked by mygan3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yeah, I am trying to go to school and hes at work so we usually drop her off when he mother gets home from work and pick her up before her mother goes to work the next day. I want to put her in preschool part time but her mother refuses to take a weekday off of work , she instead wants to take sunday off which her daughter spends with my fiancees mother. The problem is also that my family is constantly drilling it into my head that this is not my problem, Her mother was way too young and immature to be a good mother, and I myself am young and am not ready to be a mother. This poor child does not deserve to be in this situation. I feel the need to step up and be the mother figure in her life. She is not court ordered to see her mother (they were never married) and since shes with us and my fiancees mother 98% of the time(the mothers family does not even allow the child in the house) I suppose we will just raise her as our own. Hopefully her mother will get whats coming to her.
2006-09-14 16:40:49 · update #1
sadly you cant do much, talk to your fiance and find out all the details of the custody agreement, If it was verbal I would stop taking her over there - try to get a friend or family member, sometimes there are even low cost day cares for people who work (think like YMCA just check them out and make sure they're reputable, or ask co-workers what they do with their kids, maybe they're sitter can take her for cheap).
If the custody agreement has her with her mother two days a week, get evidence (daughters testimony should be enough with your picking her up with no guidence) and get in contact with the courts.
Also you could if need be take a social worker with you to pick her up and when you get her go sit in the living room with your setpdaughter and see how long it takes before the mother comes out - the social worker can interview the daughter at the same time as checking neglect on the mothers part.
also check your states rules.
Calling CPS (child protective services) may be helpful, they can give you advice
Talk to your fiance.
2006-09-14 06:32:43 · answer #1 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...there's not a whole lot that you can do. You need to have your fiancee talk to her and tell her what the concerns are. If you step in it could cause more trouble than you're looking for. Just be happy that the girl is only with her mother for a few hours a week. In fact, it sounds like she doesn't want to even spend the time she gets with her anyway.
Is her visitation mandated by the state? or are you two just allowing the visits? If this is state mandated, then you could always see if you can remove visitation from her on the grounds of unsafe environment. This can be costly, but worth it for your peace of mind.
If you are unable to remove visitation, then maybe you can have a social worker come to "check in" on her a few times while she's "babysitting" her daughter.
At least she's 3 years old and not an infant. She's old enough to go to her mother if she needs something. As for the unlocked door....you could teach her to lock the door.
2006-09-14 13:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
failure of caretakers to provide adequate emotional and physical care for a child
Child abuse is the physical or psychological mistreatment of a child by his or her parents (including adoptive parents), guardians, or other adults. While this term emphasizes on carrying out wrong acts, a related term is child neglect: not doing what is necessary, negligence. The combined problem area is often called child abuse and neglect. Below the term abuse is used in the generalized meaning which also includes neglect. Child abuse occurs in all classes of society.
2006-09-14 13:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jina J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 7 year old nephew recently drowned from a neglective stepmother. She hadn't checked on him in 3 hrs., now my sister is alone and without any children.
Don't wait to do something...there are Day Care centers that charge according to your income. Save a life and find one!
2006-09-14 13:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by seeya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call (CPS )Child Protective Services if this is really the truth. All children need love, guidance, and discipline but to just leave them alone makes me sick. Best of luck. You can also get help through social services in your state.
2006-09-14 13:33:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋