He say he will change and get his self together, should i give him that chance. I truely love him, and he loves me, I'm left wondering will he change.
2006-09-12 14:57:00 · 23 answers · asked by cilstubbs2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh man thats one of the worst positions to be in. I myself had drug problems and I would lie to my girlfriend about it. I would tell her I would stop and I didn't I would lie a lot. I'm not saying your BF will do the same but there is a chance so beware. I did eventually get off the drugs but took me some time. You need to realize drugs arent easy to stop doing. Make sure he doesnt hang out with people who are doing it. That will help a lot. Be his support he's going to need you. Chances are if you think he's lying most likely he is. Trust me. You can email me if you have any questions. I feel for you and your relationship.
2006-09-12 15:01:43 · answer #1 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from here he enters a rehab program. if he refuses, you walk away. the goal here is both of your lives spared. if he truly loves you then he will do what you ask to get help because he values your opinion and understands you are asking out of love and concern. if you truly love him and he refuses, then you will walk away because his path will only lead to the destruction of both of you. the only way you can save him at this point is to walk away so he is left with an ultimatum: a life with the woman i love, or the drugs. it's his choice.
often people quit an addiction and think that is the end of it. that didnt seem so hard. it's been 4 weeks and i haven't even craved it once. then one day, when you least expect it, something triggers that chemical dependence in your body. you never treated it, so you don't know how to control it. eventually you give in, not because you want to, but because it's the only thing to make the pain go away. now it's worse than ever, and will only take more time to get free.
get him in rehab now while it's early. if he won't, it's time to walk away for his own good, as well as yours.
2006-09-12 15:04:44 · answer #2 · answered by Choose Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey it isn't that huge of a problem if he can conceal it for Two Years!
Seriously, if his problem is bad, and he is not just ACTING like he has a bad problem (Yes some people want attention and pretend to be addicts!), then something has to be done drastically.
Rehab is not a bad start! Then MOVE! Throw away the cell phone, and change all your friends. Yes AA and Church!
Sounds too drastic? Then he doesn't really want to change!
A lot of people like the idea of getting sober, but are not willing to change the environment and friends that stimulate the problem. That is why they get worse and worse and worse, and then finally take those drastic 'get sober' measures!
By the way, I am speaking from experience!
Good Luck!
2006-09-12 15:04:38 · answer #3 · answered by extremelyradicalman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Addicts can't love!! When and if he gets clean, get back together. If cocaine was sitting beside you, he'd choose cocaine, been there done that. Gave boyfriend an ultimatum to choose drugs or me, he chose drugs! I went to counseling and meetings and got lots of help and support. Maybe you could give it a shot. Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-12 15:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by MaryFran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's ready for a change, it may be worth sticking around & seeing what happens. But be careful. Addicts are master manipulators. If he is truly committed to kicking a cocaine habit then he is going to go into a treatment centre, for addiction. Don't trust if he says he is doing it on his own, it is pretty much impossible that he can do it on his own.
Best of luck!
2006-09-12 15:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a recovering addict,we've been together 12 years and he hasn't used since before I met him so it is possible to change.Get him into rehab soon,if he told you about it,then he probably wants to change,but he can't do it alone.He's going to need the love and support from his family to help him succeed.You also should go to co dependency classes with him,it will help you deal with it and you will learn how you can help him.It sounds like he's reaching out for help or he never would've told you about his problem.
2006-09-12 15:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by birthmom2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you don't just give up coke after two years of use, that requires intervention, rehab, and a whole lot more than just you can help him through. He has to get himself straight before there can ever be an "us" in the picture.
2006-09-12 15:02:26 · answer #7 · answered by up2sumpthun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who use cocaine lie big time. Your best bet would be to leave him or have him drug tested frequently. It is a nasty drug that true destroys a person.
Just don't get caught up in the culture, because he will drag you down with him.
2006-09-12 15:03:52 · answer #8 · answered by K.O. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him, get him into rehab...fast.
Then, it's up to him. After getting over this initial shock and getting him into rehab, it's up to you to decide if you can live with the recovering addict for the rest of your life, or have a relationship with someone like that. I know several people who have gone through this, and it seems like they trade one addiction for another - drugs for stealing, drugs for impulsive behaviors, drugs for alcohol - you get the point, and the lying to cover it all up. It's a hard road, so only go down it with him if you can handle your life possibly ending up broken.
2006-09-12 15:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I accept as true with certainly one of the different people who spoke back to you. If he remains married, then he's not your boyfriend. you're in basic terms a woman on the factor. you don't be attentive to if he called his spouse to ask for a divorce. For all you be attentive to he is going domicile to her each and every night.
2016-09-30 21:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋