I have a 14 month old daughter who does not have much contact with her father. He moved to New Mexico when she was not quite 3 months old. We have now divorced and he wants to take her to New Mexico for Christmas with her older sister. My problem with this is the baby has seen her father only twice since he left. She does not know him or his family. She has been raised by me alone and I am all that she knows as a parent. I am affraid that this will cause her mental harm of abandonment because she what know what the hell is going on.....anybody please help or comment.
2006-09-11 10:12:36 · 6 answers · asked by BONAD 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
See if her father would be willing to come out two or three times before x-mas and let father and daughter spend a night or two at a time together at a hotel. That way your daughter can get to know her father better but you are only minutes away if there is a problem or she is freaking out. Then you can decide about letting her go so far away.
2006-09-11 10:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by Tess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 months is awfully young for a child to be away from the only parent they know for an extended period of time. I'm not questioning his or his family's quality, but maybe he could spend some time with her prior to the trip. To get her warmed up, and develop a sense of security in her.
Would he be open to taking her a couple nights a week before the christmas vacation? Would you be open to that?
2006-09-11 17:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by dascatalyst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you must feel. It's a scary thought leaving your kids especially out of state! Who is picking them up at the airport, picking them up or whatever? I think you should go with them and stay at a hotel, just this time. That way you are still around but not interfering with their time spent with your ex-husband's family. Make a vacation out of it for yourself--not much fun (I know--I've lived in New Mexico) but you could take a friend. It's important for your kids to see you two as a team still. You could probably spend a little time together---if you can stand it---for the kids. If you don't want to go to New Mexico, talk with her on the phone in the morning when she wakes up and in the evening before she goes to bed. That way she knows you are still around but she's with her daddy for right now. Tough situation! Good Luck!
2006-09-11 17:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go with her father. She will get to know him and his family while there. She might not like it at first but she will survive.
2006-09-11 17:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it will definately cause trauma. If there is anyway at all you can get out of this, then do..as if i need to say that. I wouldnt even want to go away with people I dont know.
2006-09-11 17:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by posquatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him no
2006-09-11 17:14:10 · answer #6 · answered by lugmutter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋