Is the Fiance's answer rationale or is he being a prick?

Question

I have been engaged for 4 months and moved from a marketplace of prosperity to a lower social eco. marketplace. I have a part time job that is not my skill set; however, I want to demonstrate that I am willing to work--my fiance is a physician--divorced. The other day I asked him to pick up some bottle water and he said he bought a refrigerator with filtered water and this should be good enough and I should refill my bottles. What do you think--rationale answer or being a controlling prick?

Answer 1

You should refill your bottles.

Answer 2

I think that if you are questioning whether he is being a controlling prick or not, alarm bells are going off on my end. Please don't get married.

Or...he could just be good at saving money and only expressing his opionion. The question is, did you insist on the bottled water and if yo did, did he buy them or is he in charge and has the last say? Does he get to tell you "no" like you are two? If he just expressed his opionion and you disagreed, that is normal. If he said no and you felt pouty and annoyed and controlled, then approach him and straighten that out quick. Or...On the other hand, he could be a controlling jerk. Can't quite tell. What is your feeling on it? I would trust your gut feeling.

By the way, reusing disposable plastic bottles is a health risk. Seen those studies? Ewwww. I wouldn't reccommend doing that. If he makes all the major decisions and has the last say and you aren't too happy with it, then either fix it or leave. It is up to you and your desire to tolerate his behavior.

Answer 3

Re: your actual question, "...rational answer or being a controlling p***k?"

Not much to go on. Is this type of answer a pattern? Does he normally say things like this, which amount to, "No, I won't do something nice for you (or that costs him money), ______ should be good enough."?

If this is his pattern, then perhaps he is being unreasonable. However, if there financial strains - caused by his alimony/child support for instance - making any extras difficult to manage?

If the latter is the case, you may want to simply ask him to sit down with you and set out a budget that you can both live with.

Either way, you are apparently off to a bad start if bottled water can come between you. Financial disagreements are the leading cause of divorce... over infidelity and even abuse.

Answer 4

I don't think it would kill him to buy bottled water. If he's a physician, he makes enough money to splurge on such a thing, though, I understand his the logic...I mean, bottled water and filtered water aren't much different, and it is more economical to re-fill the bottles, but he probably buys soda or other drinks in bottles. If you choose for your bottle to be filled with water rather than pop, why should he complain? So, if you're going by logic, he's reasonable, but if you can afford it and you want it...I don't see why it's that big a deal to buy bottled water. Still, because we can't see him and don't know HOW he said that, we can't be sure if he's showing control freak signs or not. Keep observing. If he starts telling you how to fold his socks, or what you can and can not order when you eat out...dump him!

Answer 5

Thats rationale. He is a physician so he probably knows that bottled water is overpriced. In fact gallon for gallon bottled water is more expensive than gasoline!

The filters in refrigerators are fairly decent. Refill the bottle and cut the guy some slack!

Answer 6

If you are living with him, and the refrigerator that you share has filtered water, I say that he is right to ask you to refill your bottles, rather than buying new bottles of water.

First, you have filtered water readily available. Second, it is much more environmentally sound to refill the bottles that you have already used, instead of throwing them away and just buying new ones.

Very rationale answer, not controlling.

Answer 7

Actually, being a doctor, I'm surprised he's recommending you re-fill plastic bottles. There have been many studies that show that bacteria growth in even washed plastic bottles is high. Bottles need sterilization at temperatures higher than the average household can achieve in order to achieve a healthy environment for re-use.

If he's stubborn on this point, purchase a good quality container that can withstand never-ending dishwasher cycles.

Personally, I'd say forget him and I'd go to the store and buy my own bottled water ---- jerk !!!!

Answer 8

Well, I think he has a point, but if you feel angry enough to call him such a name, how exactly did he say it to you?? I mean, did he insult you or something? I'm not trying to be rude, I am just trying to figure out how bottled water can cause so much anger! Take a deep breath, try it his way first, then if it tastes bad or something, tell him you don't like it and pick up your own bottled water. I would not expect him to go out of his way to get it when he did pay for a fridge with it, that doesn't make any sense.

Answer 9

Sounds like he is being frugal as well as rational. Why should he have to stop at the store after a busy day to buy something you already have at home? I fill water bottles at home and it takes me all of 20 seconds. I'm wondering why you'd think he was being a controlling prick.

Answer 10

If he had a refridgerator that has the purified water in it thats great. Just refill the bottles. I would have me a water bottle instead of all those bottles though. Be good and mind the doctors orders. Ha

Answer 11

Drink the water. I'm sure it tastes fine. Some bottle water is just tab water anyway. Put it in water with ice it will even taste better. Don't think it's controlling. If he wasn't a doctor and was making minumin wage would you think it was a control factor. H20 is H20.