marriage for the sake of the kids? Do you want to leave but cannot afford to do so? Or dont want to have to go through a nasty custody battle or divorce? Do you secretly want out, or at least away from your husband? Do you feel stuck and trapped? If yes, would you mind sharing your story?
2006-09-11 06:22:03 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No. I am happy being a stay at home mother. I take care of the house and children, any my husband works. I would not want it any other way. Mothers belong home with their children.
We are lucky enough that my husband makes enough money.
After my children are in high school , then I will go to work part time to help pay for their college.
2006-09-11 06:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
Yes, I think.
There are so many times I want to leave but I don't want to go back and live with my mom. I am to use to having my own place so to speak. I wish I had the money to get a place of my own and raise my kids.
I do feel trapped sometimes. Other times, It feels like my husband is more like a unwanted roommate.
I know if we were to ever divorce and he got the kids over the weekend, that his parents would be the ones to take care of them. I don't care for my in laws all that much. They cuss and I don't want my kids around that.
My son loves his daddy and my daughter seems to love him also. I would hate to take them away from there father just because I am miserable 75% of the time.
I am going to try and go back to college on line and get a certificate so in a year I can find a good job. I might consider leaving then, so that way I can support my kids on my own. We'll see what happens, I may change my mind and stay for the sake of the kids. It's hard deciding on what to do.
I wish someone would give me a lot of money so I can buy a three bedroom house for me and my kids.
Not likely to happen though. If you want to email back and forth and become friends and get out all your frustrations, email me. We can tell each other all the things are husbands do to make us mad. My husband and I were only together for about 2 months before I got pregnant. It was because I was pregnant that we decided to get married. He says it was because he loved me, but come on, how can you fall in love in only two months when we didn't really even know each other that well. I was three months pregnant at my wedding. His job transfered him up into the mountains so I was over an hour away from all my friends and family. I am so isolated and alone. I get so lonely. We have no neighbors. Its like living in the forest. I am being serious. He knows Im not happy living where we are. He doesn't care though. I would be so much happier if we lived down the hill. He would have to comute but things would probably be better with us though.
Anyway, thats some of my story. What's your's?
Tracyalls1980@yahoo.com
2006-09-11 07:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Tired-Mom 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No I am a happily married women with two children, I work a couple of evening's a week to help with the bills. If how ever I was in a unhappy marriage I would not stay for the sake of the children or the safety of money. If it is worth saving and we still loved each other then I would give it a go, if you no longer love one another then you are best to go you separate ways before things get too bad that you cannot talk to each other. That is not fair on you or you children. Try going out as a couple to see if you can repair the damage and talk to each other, children can drain a marriage.
Remember marriage comes in kit form you have to keep working at it.
2006-09-11 06:38:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gos yes don't get me wrong I love my husband but it's just hard. He has no idea what it feels like to be stuck at home 24/7 and get no appreciation for the stuff I do for him and the kids. He has never catered to our every need every minute. I can't remember the last time he has bought me flower for no reason at all. It seems his love has just swept away somewhere in the open world and everything is just a normal schedule to him. Nothing changes anymore. And sadly were still young(I'm 21 hes 26) and we don't get out by ourselves anymore. It seems the last thing he would do was ask is family(mines in TX) to watch the kids so we could spend time together. But yet he can go out with his friends after work but when one of my girlfriends ask for me to go somewhere I can go he just doesn't give me money so it defeats the whole purpose, b/c he feels he makes the money so it's still his. And one day soon since I'm looking into getting a part-time job I will leave and be stronger from this relationship b/c I now know thing will never get better even though you try so hard.
2006-09-11 06:31:52 · answer #4 · answered by lillady 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'm in a happy marriage, thank God. I was always affraid that when I get married I will feel how you feel. But I found a wonderful man, a great husband, and the best father.
I feel trapped sometimes, being at home with the baby, but nothing I can do. I was working for a while, but I missed my baby a lot, so now I'm just going to school twice a week, while my husband is a full time student and works on the weekends. We talked about this,he wanted to work and go to school during the week.
But my mom was in the same situation like you, and when I was about 7 years old,she divorced my father,after 13 years of marriage, because he just wanted to live his life, not to care about any of us. I remember a lot of fights between them, he was careless and violent. My mom said,and I also have some letters from him when they were young, that he was such a nice guy. They had plans,wanted kids, and he promissed the world to my mom. In his letters he calls my mom little star. Later: (everything you can imagine!)
My mom started from scrach,alone,with some help from family members. I never missed my father.As a child, I went to see him sometimes (he lives 2 blocks away), and if he wanted he let me in,but most of the time he didn't.
And now, I'm married, I live far away (I'm from Europe,and I live in Tx with husband and baby), and he called me once, to ask me for money...., not about when will I go home so he can see his only grandson.
So, I'm glad that my mom is happy, even she never got married again, we, family are there for each other!
2006-09-11 08:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by hedychambers 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am very happy with my husband now he is everything i wanted.However about three years ago i was married to a man i did not love because i got pregnant and we married after she was born because i thought it was the right thing to do.I felt so isolated and alone i had the baby when i was 19 and my husband worked 12 hour swing shifts we were in debt up to our elbows.I stayed at home and i felt like i had no life no marriage but i loved my little girl so much.I weighed my options and after four years of being completly miserable i left and left my little one with him because i could not provide for her financially now i am in a huge custody battle because of that stupid decision i don't regret leaving him but i regret so much leaving her if i could take it all back i would.I would do anything to make it up to her at this point.Its hard because now i am married happily and i am nine months pregnant so i have to talk with my daughter alot about why things are the way they are and i feel so guilty it consumes me sometimes.I feel like sometimes i can't live with the pain i have caused her.I pray alot and ask god to give me the strength to fix it and to not be ridden with guilt for the rest of my life.
2006-09-11 06:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by samwise25 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being a SAHM was my dream and I am sooo happy to be lucky enough to have it come true. My husband and I have a fantastic relationship and share responsibilities for the kids, house, etc. It is all about respecting eachother and always wanting only the best for eachother.
2006-09-11 07:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's stupid when women decide to stay at home even when they cannot financially afford to do so. Hello?? Bills need to be paid and kids need insurance and healthy food. If some can't afford it and stay home despite that even through a miserable marriage, then let's call the duck a duck. They are LAZY.
2006-09-11 06:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Goddess of Nuts PBUH 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I was there about 2 years ago. I'm from Ca but I was in GA away from all friends and family. I was miserable. I couldn't work because ex was in the military. I ended up sleeping all day because I was so depressed. Only time I left the house was to pick up the kids from school. My mom was dying of cancer and we were told she only had six months to live. It was the only thing that got me back to Ca and the only reason why my ex took me back to Ca. I moved in with my mom to care for her until she died.
The funny thing is..the person who I reach out to was my first husband. He made time for me and let me talk for hours. He gave me hope. He babysat my kids (first is his, second and third was the guy from ga). He helped me out money wise, encouraged me to get a job, encouraged me to get my own car and helped me rebuild my life from scratch with everything in my own name. He even helped me get a divorce from the guy in Ga.
I didn't realise that I was slowly killing myself by not loving myself. I hated my marriage so I hated myself. Once I got back on my feet, I look back and ask myself was it worth leaving my marriage and every day you will find me screaming from the top of the Hills. YES!!!!!!
I would never get into a marriage where I wasn't happy ever again.
You can't stay in a marriage to make your husband happy and you can't even stay in a marriage to make your kids happy. Kids see everything. They know you are not happy.
My kids are actually 100 times happier now than they were in GA. Everything and everyone around me is happier and healthier because I myself am now is as well.
Ask me, about my First Ex Husband!
I am now in a relationship with him once again. Everything he has done for me is what your spouse should do in a marriage. To help you when you are down, to make you feel like you are important, to make you feel like there is hope in this world and to help raise the kids while you rebuild something for yourself.
I owe alot to my first husband but I owe even more to myself because I choose to acknowledge...Yes, I am important too!
2006-09-11 06:34:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a friend who's husband begged her to get pregnant,she is a stay at home mom.he only gives her money for diapers,milk,etc.If she goes to the grocery store he wants to see a recipt.If family members sneak her money he thinks she has a man over while he's at work that gives it to her.She hates him and don't want to leave because she don't want to be a burden to her parents of family members.
2006-09-11 06:27:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋