Our son is 3 years old. He has never been away from us in his life. If we can't take him somewhere we don't go. He is not the greatest talker and is not even intersted in potty training at all. None of the pre-school here ( Redding, CA) take kids that are not potty trained. I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with him. I don't feel he has to go yet. I want to see if he will be ready next year. Mom-in-law feels that if I put him into a daycare center he will talk more and will get potty trained. We can't really afford to put him into daycare here ( chepest around is 550.00 a week) and I will not put him into head start. At his age he dosen't need friends. He is only 3. He needs his Mama & Daddy. I didn't even know anybody at my age until I was almost 4 when I went to pre-school. I take him to the park once a week for about an hour or so. Sometimes he plays with kids his own age but, for the most part he plays with me. I think he is fine & happy with me. What do you think.
2006-09-11 06:13:48 · 46 answers · asked by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The thing is that there is no pre-school around that will take him if he is not potty trained. He is not intersted in potty training. I will not push the matter.
2006-09-11 06:20:02 · update #1
Hubby & I don't know anyone who can baby sit for us. Grandparents live too far way. ( My mom lives 4 hours away and his parents live 10 hours way) I also don't know any moms with kids my son's age. We did try once to go to a movie. We tried to leave him with my parents. He cried for 3 hours. We will never do that again.
Again he has no interest in the potty at all. And you should never push it. As for the talking he chooses not to talk. We never use "baby talk" with him unless you think that when we talk about dogs and cats we use the words doggie and Kitty.
2006-09-11 06:27:09 · update #2
The reason I don't like head start is because of the program. It has nothing to do with the kids or race!!
2006-09-11 06:29:51 · update #3
Tried story times. He will not sit still for it at all. He is a very hyper child and will not sit still for 2 seconds. And no we will not put him on meds. I have tried play groups. But, the moms will not even talk to me.
2006-09-11 06:31:58 · update #4
YOU ARE THE MOTHER you do what is best for your child not what someone else wants you to do. Preschool is not required for every child. There is no hurry. What your child might benefit from is a 2 hour class for a couple days a week that teaches socialization through play. You know your child and you know your budget. Do not allow anyone to make you think otherwise. Tell your mother in law you will consider schooling when he is older and end it there.
Sure he might talk more and be potty trained but that is nothing you can't work on with him by yourself. There are playgroups you can set up and playdates. There is no hurry for preschool. Stick to your guts.
2006-09-11 06:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your son would probably do well if he interacted more with children his own age, have you though about joining a mommies group or finding a class for him...maybe something at the Y.
I was a preschool teacher and saw many kids come into school at 4, they were a little behind the rest of the children socially, but most caught up by the end of the year. Have you thought about a part time preschool, maybe one that is offered by a church, you don't have to be religious or a member to take advantage of church daycare most of the time. Usually they are part time, running only a couple of hours twice a week. It may help with the separation later.
You should try potty training again, most children should be trained by the time they are 3 1/2 if not earlier. You don't have to make it a traumatic experience. it can be a fun new thing to learn.
2006-09-11 06:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by paganmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know it would never hurt to put him in pre-school. I understand they don't take them when they aren't potty trined and I don't blame you for pushing the issue. He will go when he wants. My son didn't until he turned 4 and decided he wanted to use the toilet. Try and find a pre-scool that will take him. It will help with his interaction with children and his attention span will grow so he will sit while you read books to him. I thought my 4 yr old wouldn't last a day in pre-school(at 3) but when he came home he loved it and has been going ever since. Before he started pre-school he was always mean to other children around him or he'd sit off in a corner and play on his own and now he is a happily playing pre-schooler that makes friends with everybody. School will also incourage him to use the potty to mom, I think thats what did it for my son. Good Luck to you! But if you don't want to send him then don't he's just fine at home too. I was just letting you know some good things about pre-school from experience.
2006-09-11 06:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by lillady 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well their are quite the range of answers on this one so i'll add my meager opinion. I don't think a 3 year old NEEDS to go to preschool but he does need to learn that a little seperation is okay. And a little more socializing at this age wouldn't hurt either. It is right around three that children begin to really play with other children but he can get this from outings with you. So head out to the park more often like 3 or 4 times a week maybe for 30 mins at a time. Try the playgroups again and if the parents don';t talk to you assume they are shy and you do the talking!
2006-09-11 07:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tetsi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with the "mother-in-law thing", I've been there. Mine believed in spanking. Tried it to suit her and never felt so bad in my life. Especially since the "naughty chair" works wonders and my kids don't have behavioral problems. Anyway, on to your problem, I'd do what you think is best. You're the mom and you know what you and your 3 year old are comfortable with. I have a 3 year old who is very smart and outgoing, and I believe in keeping her at home also, just to have that security for one more year. Why push them into the whole friends heirarchy thing so young, for some kids it's very frustrating and not necessary at the age of 3. My boys never potty trained until they were 3 either. I got frustrated but they wouldn't until they were ready, then it was a sudden thing that just happened. My little girl (who is 3 now) potty trained at 18 months, so every kid is different. Not being potty trained at preschool would be terrible for a kids ego and probably quite confusing. I think your mother-in-law is probably just thinking how great a mother she was, or forgetting how hard it is. Anyway, be respectful but stand your ground and do what you think is right. Afterall, you're raising and trying to do what's right for your son's life and you're responsible for that, not for your mother-in-law's happiness.
2006-09-11 06:31:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel like you do need to begin to leave him a little bit. He will start school in a couple of years and that will be very tramatic if he has never been away from you. Maybe a pre school isnt the best thing to start with. Try to meet some other stay at home moms in your area and maybe set up play dates. You could have them at your house at first. Then when he gets used to the kids try taking him to another moms house, just for an hour. See how he does. I think if he had kids his age to play with, he would love it.
2006-09-11 06:31:38 · answer #6 · answered by mommylee 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am a SAHM but I sent my son to PreK3. He was potty trained but was a late talker so I wanted him to socialize with kids his age to help. It was a small class of only 5 kids (private Christian school). I think it was a great decision for him, but all kids are different. I would at least join a play group so he can meet kids his age and learn to play and communicate with other kids, otherwise school could possibly be very hard on him. As for your MIL, it is your child so say thank you for your opinion but do what you and your husband feel is best.
2006-09-11 07:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all socialization, is a big part of a child's life. If he doesn't play with kids his age now, he's gonna have a tough time in elementary school. Second of all, he needs to be potty trained, no school will take him if he's not. It's not up to him, when he learns to use he potty. It's up to you, you have to be strict with him. Also it sounds like mom and dad need to some socializing too!
2006-09-11 07:24:38 · answer #8 · answered by single mom of 2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He does need friends at his age! You cant help him develop social skills, he needs friends to do that. He needs to learn how to do things on his own. Being around his peers helps him develop. You need to let go.
He does need to be potty trained at his age! There is a reason preschool wont take kids after a certain age that arent potty trained..............think about it.
You really are hindering your childs development. There are certain things you just have to make you child do. Teach him to do. There is also a possibility that in kindergarten he will be labeled with behavior problems and put in special ed. There are programs other than headstart that help pay for preschool. Contact your local Social Service to find out.
2006-09-11 07:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe a child should be in pre-school for 2hours a day 2days per week at 3 years old. It will be good for him. Try to find a "co-op" pre-school. That has the parents work 2-3 days a year instead of having class aids.
As for the potty training, you have to force your self to work on it. If you wanted to send him to pre-school he would be potty trained already. You are letting him control you, making you change his diaper. True it is easier to change a diaper then clean up wet sheets,but he should be pt, at least in the day time before he is four.
2006-09-11 06:56:07 · answer #10 · answered by ee 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋