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i have a 6 year old little girl that i love 2 bits and i just cant get her in her own bed we have lost a lot off people we love over the last few years and our nan is very ill so she will have 2 go through a nother death very soon she has been through more than some adults go through in there life so i need 2 do it in best way pos can any1 help me plz

2006-09-11 04:20:46 · 14 answers · asked by sonia p 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

14 answers

TRY LYING IN HER BED WITH HER UNTIL SHE GOES TO SLEEP THEN TIP OUT. DO THIS EACH NIGHT AND SHE WILL EVENTUALLY STAY IN THERE. IF YOU GUYS HAS LOST SO MANY PEOPLE FOR HER TO HANDLE, SEEK SOME COUNSELING FOR HER SO SHE CAN OPEN UP AND RELEASE WHATS INSIDE.

2006-09-11 04:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 3 0

Poor kid! Poor you, too!
Try camping out on her bedroom floor for a while. If the floor is too hard, get two queen sized foam bed toppers, cut them in half, stack them, and cover them with a sheet. Slowly move your pallet closer to the door, into the hall, etc, until she's sleeping in her own bed, alone. Also have a good bedtime ritual-- a song or story, tickles, kisses, something like that, something you'll do every night at bedtime, something that will comfort her and let her know you're not gone when she's alone, and that you love her.
Make a photo book of those she's lost and make sure she spends time with her nan while she can. Take pictures of them together. Take movies. Remind her that her nan may be leaving and not coming back, so enjoy the time while she can. Best to tell her that sometimes you only get so much time to do things you like, to be with people you love, before they have to go away. Sometimes they can come back, sometimes not. Sometimes we know when they are leaving, sometimes not. In the end, we have to spend each day with the ones we love as if it were all the time we have.
And remember your own feelings in all this, too. Remember to take time to grieve for your losses and teach her to grieve throgh your grief. Good luck and God Bless.

2006-09-11 04:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

If she has lost a lot of people lately, it is her way of making sure you will still be there when she wakes up in the morning. She is probably terrified that you may be next. No matter how young a child is, you need to talk to her about death. Not talking about it does not protect her, children have fertile imaginations and often fear worse case scenarios. Explain that death is a normal part of life, especially in old people who have been ill for ages.

In the mean time, let her sleep in your bed a bit longer, until she feels more secure. Forcing her to go back to her own bed will make her feel worse. You can always have sex in the bath/shower!

2006-09-11 04:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

I suggest you start a night time routine. Every single night, without failure, do something together.
You can try these steps:

Quick warm bath, with some of her fav toys.
Night time snack (yogurt, fruit, whatever she likes.)
A daily devotional book with positive loving stories/words. (see link)
Quick simple prayer to God for him to watch over her and the family and thanking him for the people that are with her and her friends.
Lay with her a few minutes, with a nightlight, if she likes, and when she's fast asleep, slip out.

She may wake up upset, and just be patient and calm her down and then slip out again.
The next day she may question why you left her, but just explain that you were nearby and nothing was going to happen.
Also, understand, it will take a while, but if you are consistent, you will reach your goal and your little girl will become independent enough to sleep on her own, but it takes your efforts too and humility. She will love you for it even if it's hard at first.
Wish you and your little girl well, and I'm sorry for your losses.

2006-09-11 04:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0 0

Well, if she must leave...try to make a fun schedule of things that you do each night...bath, jammies, stories, songs. YOu can also keep track of nights she does the right thing with stickers and every time she gets, say 5 stickers, she gets to go somewhere she likes (park, restaurant, etc...) or gets a small gift. You know, I used to think that kids' sleeping alone/in their rooms was so important, but I've changed my mind. I love my kids so much, and if those little kids feel better or not afraid by sleeping with me or near me then they can. Why do parents get to sleep together and kids can't? She will eventually leave your bed...I have an 8 year old that quit that around 6...when we didn't take her to her room and one of us fell asleep with her there... Don't worry about it - worry about her mental health regarding the loss of family. Take care, and sorry for your losses.

2006-09-11 04:31:09 · answer #5 · answered by applebetty34 4 · 0 0

Put her to sleep in her own bed each night. You may have to lay with her for a couple of weeks until she drifts off. Leave your door open so that if she wakes up at night she can come down the hall and get in bed with you. This will begin a transition process and eventually she will spend the whole night in her own bed without you needing to lay down next to her for her to fall asleep. Snuggle toys are a good idea too. She will feel her toys around her and that will add to her sense of security. She will eventually outgrow this phase but you can help her along the path.

2006-09-11 04:25:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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2016-11-26 01:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by reguant 4 · 0 0

I would recommend getting her in her own bed ASAP. I slept with my mom until I was about 8. . . because of that, I have many issues now about sleeping. I have trouble sleeping when I am alone because I am scared. I also cannot sleep without heavy covers over me for security. Instead of having her crawl into bed with you, put her to bed in her bed. If she is unwilling at first, rub her back or sit with her until she falls alseep . . for a while. Eventually, start leaving her before she falls alseep. If she wakes up in the middle of the night, take her to a neutral place, like the kitchen or living room, and hold her for a little bit. Then put her in her bed and tell her a nice story of bunnies and butterflies.

Best of luck!

By the way, my mom allowed me to sleep with her for her own comfort just as much as mine. Check yourself, and don't use your child for you own comfort.

2006-09-11 04:39:28 · answer #8 · answered by Sera B 3 · 1 1

Please don't make her be alone when she's clearly not yet ready. Your question suggests she's sleeping with you, in your bed. What if you put her to bed in her own bed, and lie down with her until she drifts off? If she awakens in the middle of the night and crawls in with you, if you're not too tired, take her back to her own bed, and snuggle with her until she's back asleep. If you're too tired, let her sleep in your bed.

I presume you talk with her about her fears, concerns, losses. Encourage her to talk about her feelings. If it's too painful, get creative to get her to open up. Try "play therapy"; use paper and crayons, dolls to try to draw her out.

Most important: Patience and understanding. The last thing she needs is for her loving Mom to push her away.

2006-09-11 04:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The girl is probably terrified because of stress and nightmares, so I wouldn't expect her to want to sleep in her own bed! Don't make it a sudden change. Try to gradually get her to sleep in her own bed. She needs lots of patience and love right now.

2006-09-11 04:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by theblackenedphoenix 4 · 1 0

Regardless of what she is going through, she should sleep in her bed. You can read a story in her own bed and stay with her during tough times to make sure she is ok, and falls asleep in her room.

2006-09-11 04:35:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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