Have a 24 yr old daughter who has a 1 1/2 yr old daughter and she still lives at home.?

Question

She has some what of a good joband pays very little rent here does not have to pay for a babysitter I do that for free, but does not know how to manage her money and does not want help for me so can some one please tell me how to make her grow up with out throwing her out of the house. Don't want too but tired of trying to help with no thanks

thanks to all the answer that i have got have do most of what was put there just have one problem my granddaughter can't put her through it but i can throw my daughter out have done that once already didn't think it would have to happen again.

Answer 1

wow everyone has given you great advice. they've only missed one part. you obviously dont want to kick her out because by teaching her that lesson you also put your grand daughter in a spot. so setting some ground rules like rent and day care is a good start but you also must plan on sticking with it. either she pays or she needs to move out. i know it will be hard but being firm on that is what made me smarten up............. i was in the same place as your daughter about 5 years ago and until my parents stopped allowing me to be the child with the child then i became the woman with the child.

Answer 2

well you need to give your daughter tough Love
soryy to tell you as much as it will hurt your granddaughter is not your responsibility
you have made 2 mistakes
1- let her move in with you without charging her the correct rent
2- baby sitting without charging
you could have taken the money an open an account for your grandaughter
you have 2 choices kick out
or charge her more rent /and for babysitter
put that money away for your Grand daughter but do not tell your daughter about it

Answer 3

Does she pay for her own food and utilities? Because,if she doesn't,then maybe she should start doing so,this will help her on how to manage her own money.Sometimes when adult children lives with their parents and don't have to cover many costs,they tend to want to spend their money on frivolous things and will want to even more if someone else is buying the toiletries,the food and other necessities in the home.She may feel she is doing her part just by paying her portion of the rent. She sounds like she needs more responsibilities in the house so you won't have to have all of that on your shoulders.

Answer 4

I understand but if you want her to learn you have to have he get her own place. you can still help her by babysitting for free. She will lean fast how to manger her money. Because if she does not pay rent she is on her own. You have to do the tuff love thing no matter what happens do not let her back in. i know this work I was the same way with my parents and I learn fast. i now save money so if something happens i have the money to pay for it. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

First I would make sure she takes her OCs as to avoid giving birth again and up the rent and charge her for childcare lets say 50% less or what you feel is reasonable ....there is a Reader's Digest article that states grandparents who take on the childcare of their grandkids actually have shorter lifespans....perhaps you should look it up and copy it for your daughter. My mother charged me rent as soon as I returned from graduating from the college that I paid for and well my stay at home lasted about 1 year.....and I'm sure ur daughter receives child support which should cover your childcare/rent or outside care.

Answer 6

The best way to help is to not help so much. You are letting her get away with it. Either have her pay rent (the same as it would cost in a real apartment) or tell her she has to become more independent and move out.

Answer 7

Have you tried talking to her about it? She is probably just taking it all for granted and not even realising what she is doing?? That would probably be my first step - maybe suggest a rent payment and help for food etc. At 24 she should probably be taking some responsibility for herself and her child.. I moved out at 17 so Im not really going on experience but just what I think I would do :) Good Luck!!

Answer 8

Start charging for babysitting...just because your the grandparent doesn't mean you HAVE to babysit, and when you do it doesn't mean you have to do it for free. You are being used, get a back bone, raise the rent charge for watching the child and make your daughter help out around the house.

Answer 9

Wow that is a tuff one but honestly your gonna have to throw her out. If nothing else is working or maybe she needs therapy or just plain lazy and inconsiderate she needs a dose of real life.

Also by law you have a legal right to evict her after the age of 21 regardless of the circumstances shes old enough no matter how bad she is at she will learn to take care of herself and with a daughter she be held more accountable for her actions. DONT give in just because it is your daughter and you love her. Thats giving her the excuses to keep doing what she is doing.

Sorry to be harsh but thats how it is for me.

Answer 10

Just do what my mother did. She felt my sister was spending way too much on materialistic items when she has two babies to be tending to ... so she raised the rent.

What happened? My sister was forced to look for a place with cheaper rent. She smartened up rather quickly when my mother got sick of her nonsense.