I am 20 years old and my parents still treat me like i am 15!?

Question

I have a son and i am 20 yrs old, i am in school, have my own car, have a job, nothing about me is anything she has to nag about. But it never fails that they treat me like im still 15! They wont allow me to go out on dates with guys, go to parties, they always ask who im talking to on the phone, where am i going, when am i coming home, they tell me to be home at a certain time, they tell me no i cant go here or there, they dont want me to have a boyfriend, they are always trying to controll every move i make. they want to make all the desicions for me. they try and tell me what to watch, listen, etc. i have tried to talk to them and tell them my point of view that they should lighen up and i have a freakin son! im not a little girl anymore. they wont listen to me and they dont know how to stop. i live with them but pay for eveything i have, own etc. even for my son. There is no real readon why they act like this. only want to feel they can tell me what to do cuz i am thier daughter.

Answer 1

My parents do the same things sometimes, when I ask them not to do so and tell them that I am 18 years old, and know what's wrong and right, they tell me that " you would always be the same daughter for us, doesn't matter how old you are, we would always be worried about you" they tell me that I will understand in the future...
Don't know, I love them and love living with them anyway. if you don't like living with your parents you shall move out!!!

Answer 2

You live with them and who exactly watches the kid when you go out? You want independence then respectfully move out...oh but that would be inconvenient for you and expensive...so you say you pay for all your stuff: electricity? mortgage? heating? water? property taxes? See, they still pay way more than half of what you have. Maybe they look at you as a kid a bit because you gone and done had a baby in your teens, not the mark of a mature person. AGE doesn't make you responsible, an adult, or mature. They DON'T have to treat you a certain way just because the birthday fairey came around. You have to earn your parents' respect for you and your life. Yes you do, and you haven't yet for some reason. Stop whining and laying all of the blame on your parents for your unbalanced relationship. You are half of that relationship, you put yourself into this situation, so try looking at it from their point of view, because your kid may feel the same way in twenty years.

Answer 3

You're going to school, have a car and a job -- you're obviously doing some good. But you're also a teenager, a single mom and you're financially dependent on your parents.

My gut feeling -- and I may be wrong, because I don't know you and I don't want to assume anything -- is that your parents may see you as immature and they want to keep you from making mistakes. See, you mentioned going to parties and wanting boyfriends. That all sounds good for someone your age, but don't forget that you're a mother; your parents might be protecting your son from strangers you might meet and bring home. Maybe they don't want you to become pregnant again.

The bottom line is, you're at a crossroads in your life, with two choices: you can choose responsibility or personal emancipation. It's your choice to make, but it seems to me like your parents are trying to steer you toward the former.

Answer 4

babe...I know exactly what u r talking bout...I am 19 and my parents still monitor my every move...I wish I could help but...well I obviously dont know how to make it all just stop
If I ever figure it out I'll let you know...if u do maybe you'll do the same?

and to the person above me...I do not think that just because someone has a child at a young age means they cannot be trusted...EVERYONE is entitled to make a few mistakes every once and a while...so dont act like u r such a saint!

Answer 5

Just because you have a baby does not mean you are all grown up. You still live in their house and where's the baby's daddy? Are they taking care of the baby while you are at school or work? You are not living as independent as you think...your parent's think that they are taking care of your baby, just like anything else a parent would have the responsibility of taking care of when the child is not able to...therefore you are still a child. Plus, they probably don't want you dating because they don't want another child to take care of once you get pregnant again.

Answer 6

i am 23 and my mom was some what like that over not that controlling but i love her to death and she helps me so much with my daughter but i could not take it i moved like 8 hrs from her she stayed with daughter cause i know noone where i live and i work m-f but when i visit and its often cause my daughter is with i see the difference i mean there is not that much tension i do not know if you understand but u need to move they may have wanted more for you or something you need to pull away

Answer 7

It's time you got out of their house and live on your own. As long as you are in their house they feel they have the right to know. Moving out and being on your own will make they realize that you are an adult.

Answer 8

Number one,

Move out of your parents house.

Number two,

You won't 'have parents' anymore.

If you are no longer a child, and in your 20's you should be out on your own. I moved out when I was 17 and that's... just what kids... do

Answer 9

First of all, you have already proven that you cannot be trusted.

Second of all, you live in their home.

Third, having a child doesn't make you "grown up." In fact, NOT having a child would be much better proof that you can make adult decisions.

Answer 10

i think that they are just trying to be parents. i feel that u had made a mistake before they dont want u to do the same. so even u think its really bad of them to do that so take them to someone who can speak to them like a professional.