I have always thought that the host should do the washing but resently i was told that washing your plate after yourself is something you always do in somene elses home. just wondering....
2006-08-23 13:26:34 · 46 answers · asked by operatic♫mimosa 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Depends on the affair... if it's formal, no.
If it's informal, yes, you clear your own plate and at least offer to help with the dishes (sincerely)
2006-08-23 13:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not proper to wash just your own dish. I don't think it would ever be proper to just offer to do just your own plate unless you suggest everyone join in to hurry the task.If it's occasional or non -close friends or the boss and wife. it's proper to offer to help do the dishes or used to be. Family doing the clean up and dish washing was automatic.
At one time nearly every time two or more couples would get together for a meal the women would wash the dishes while the guys did guy things. That's all changed now and as far as I am concerned it's as much the men's responsibility as the women"s. So this is a great post and a hard one to answer. most people just clean off the plates and put then in the dish washer, but as far etiquette I believe it would depend on who was hosting, and who was the guest, and the relationship. As you would not expect most bare acquaintances to wash dishes or business prospetcs ect I don't think you would ask or volunteer. If it was just friends or relatives the kitchen has always been the woman's domain and off limits to guys after the meal. It has always been a "good ole gal " thing do the dishes and share companionship. Most women have and still do enjoy this get together, but as I said things are changing and barbie is growing up:):)
2006-08-23 13:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 46 years old and I have never heard of a guest having to wash their own plate. I think it is proper if the guest asks if they can take their plate to the kitchen or if they offer to clear the table. Many people don't like other people in their kitchen for various reasons: 1. they don't want their dishes broken 2. the kitchen may be too small to have guests in there. 3. the host may not even want to deal with the dishes and they retire to another room to drink or have coffee. 4. Many hosts that I know what to just entertain and wait on their guests and then do their dishes after company has gone or stack it and do the dishes next day.
2006-08-23 13:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by lexxy l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems strange to me that you would wash only your own plate and not do anyone else's dishes. So I would say, either do everyone's dishes, or none, not only your own.
Different hostesses have different expectations and desires about what is a good guest. Also, different families have different practices about dishes. You can watch other members of the family and see what they do. If everybody just takes his/her plate to the sink and rinses it off, you do that too. If the hostess collects all the plates, give your plate to her. Also, you can offer to do the dishes by saying something like, "Thank you so much for the nice meal. I would really like to show my appreciation by helping you with the dishes." Then the hostess will accept or reject your offer.
Remember, you are a guest in her home, so whatever she says, goes.
2006-08-23 19:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, the host should do it, as you are a guest.
However, even when I am a guest in someone's home, I always clear my own dish, offer to take anyone else's dish who might be finished, scrape and rinse the plates. If there's a lot of dishes, I will start washing them, or helping the host wash -- if they let me that is.
I guess it all stems from how I'd like to be treated. Even though I wouldn't let my guests do dishes, I am still so grateful they they offer to help.
2006-08-24 04:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a guest for one meal, and it is a casual family or close friends, ask if there is something you could do to help. It is polite, and will almost guarantee an invite back. In a casual situation, it might even be expected. If you are a overnight guest, it is expected that you ask. It goes like this:" Mary is there something I can do to help? Can I help you clean up?"
If it is more formal, with people that don't know each other well, and it is a dressed up kind of affair, you can still ask, it is still polite, especially if there is one hostess, and no serving staff. You might be a little subtle about it, speak quietly, away from other guests if you aren't sure.
The only exception is if there are serving staff there, like a maid, or a catering service. Then you do not ask.
Hope this helps.
2006-08-23 13:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't presribe to that. I don't like washing dishes after dinner at someone's house. If they want to invite guests for a dinner, they should be prepared to clean up too. It's rude to expect guests who are all dressed up to clean up and get dirty. Hosts take pride in the dinner they serve and they should also take pride in not expecting them to clean up. Most guests would have brought gifts for the host and that should be thanks enough for the dinner and the host's efforts.
The proper sequence of events should be:
Serve drinks when guests arrive
Serve dinner,
Serve desserts
After dinner tea/coffee
Chat with the guests in the living room
Guests go home.
Host cleans the dishes or keep it overnight to clean the next morning!
REMEMBER, DON'T EXPECT GUESTS TO CLEAN ANYTHING!!!!!!
If the host can't stomach guests not cleaning up their own plates, then don't invite anyone. Afterall, no one begs to be invited.
Of course there are EXCEPTIONS ........in family gatherings where the guests are family members who feel "at home" enough to help out with the cleaning then they may go ahead and help clean their plates or everybodies' plates!
2006-08-23 20:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of hosts will insist that their guests just take it easy and let them do the work. But, on the other hand, it is polite to at least rinse your plate off. Just depending on the situation. If it is a close friend or relative, I would be more willling to help out. If it is someone you hardly know, you can offer help, but most likely your host won't let you.
2006-08-23 13:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Ruthie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would start to wash my plate, until they say something but that would be as far as I would go. But I guess it would be depends on how well I knew the person or not. But I would definately ask. Some host like people to help them some do not.
2006-08-23 18:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by jrealitytv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what kind of gathering I guess. We've been etiquette conscious, and we always left the plates on the table and walked out while the servers removed the dishes. Someone in the kitchen washed them all.
2006-08-23 13:40:52 · answer #10 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, it's definately the hosts job to wash up. If it's a casual situation, you might rinse the excess food of your plate, but in formal situations the host takes the plate from your table before you even stand up, so of course you're not going to be washing it.
2006-08-23 13:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by HotGurrlz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋