My husband and I were invited to our friends home for dinner. We thought there would be four of us. Then a few days later we were informed by email that 2 additional guests were coming and that we might not like them. Is it O.K. for the host to
invite other guests without asking the original guests if they mind since it was only supposed to be a foursome originally?
2006-08-23 12:20:43 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you're throwing the party (whatever kind of party it is) then you're the one who gets to choose; if it's somebody else, then they choose. YOU can choose whether or not to attend if you don't like someone else on the guest list, but to ask a host to leave someone off because you don't get along with them isn't your prerogative.
2006-08-23 12:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The host did the right thing by notifying you that the other people were coming. They gave you fair warning. It is their house, they pay the bills, you are the guest and do not get to call any of the shots accept for if you will come or not.
Why do you think the host invited them? Could the guests you don't like have found out about the meal and then made the host feel bad for not being invited? Are they more friends of one member of the house hold and not the member of the house hold you are close to? Is the host secretly angry they found out?
You have a few things you can do though. 1) Attend or decline the invitation? 2) Have your own dinner and invite who you want.
2006-08-23 12:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to include significant others or risk having people feel put out, especially if the relationships going on are potentially volitile. For instance, if your best man is engaged and is going to be at the dinner and will end up sitting next to the singer who is a friend of his from a long time ago who really is into him - then you are creating challenges for his fiancee and that's just not nice. It sounds like you've already invited people to the dessert/champagne thing. You can do whatever you want - it's just not nice. My rehearsal dinner included significant others and children since many of those in the wedding party were married and some had children. The dinner was big but it was the sweetest ever. Everybody was happy and enjoying themselves. Why should somebody's fiancee or wife have to go to dinner somewhere else and then meet up later? It seems just not right, especially if people are from out of town. The whole thing of planning it so that only the people standing up are at the dinner is really assuming that everyone is single. You know - everybody is really young and the bridesmaids and groomsmen are not married. We had people who came from out of town with their children, it would have been awful to have them have to get a sitter for the rehearsal dinner! The significant others and their children were so honored that we included them. It's the small touches that you do that show you care. Trust me, after all is said and done - you are going to have so many checks and gift cards - that the money for this is insignificant.
2016-03-27 02:57:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well being the Host always allows them the right to invite whoever they want but, if they told you that it was just going to be the 4 of you, then they should have at least asked you how you would feel about inviting others to a dinner that was just supposed to be for you. So NO, they should have asked you before they invited others.
2006-08-23 12:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by usvega 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's polite to make it clear when you invite someone whether there will be other guests or not and then stick to the original plan. If for some reason you want to invite other guests afterwards I think it's nicer to ask the guests already invited if they mind that.
However, it seems rude to me to invite other guests afterwards that "you might not like". If they think you might not like them, why invite you all over at the same time?
2006-08-23 20:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by undir 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A host can invite anyone they want. They don't have to clear it with the guests. However, it is odd that they would invite you and other guests if they knew ahead of time that you might not like them. Interesting.
2006-08-23 15:27:43 · answer #6 · answered by sheeny 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is okay since the host is the one hosting the dinner.
It would be wrong for the guest to invite someone else which I've seen done many times.
2006-08-23 12:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mimi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They don't want you in the party, they invited people you "might not like" without asking you first, I guess the other guests might not like you either, that won't be a pleasant dinner for anybody, Why they did that? only they know...please get another Friends unless you are that desperate. it is true they can choose who invite and by the same token you can choose to attend
2006-08-23 13:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by class4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly OK for them to invite anyone they want. They were nice enough to inform you that you might not like the other guests. Now, it's up to you to decide what you want to do. Personally, it might be interesting to go and find out what it is about the other guests that you might not like!
2006-08-23 12:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your host is not obligated to get your approval to invite someone else to his home for dinner. The only exception might be if the host were trying to play matchmaker and was trying to get the two people together so they would hopefully hit it off and form a relationship.
Chow!!
2006-08-23 12:30:46 · answer #10 · answered by No one 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋