I need help from any Wiccan/ Pagan who is "out"!?

Question

I recently came "out of the broom closet" with my parents. My dad doesn't care, but I think it bothers my (catholic) mom and she won't tell me. I she always talks about Wicca in a disgusted voice and ordered me not to bring any Wiccan "stuff" out into public. Is there any way I can show her that Wicca (and witchcraft) isn't that bad? I told her the basics of being a Wiccan, but I don't think that was enough.

PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN TRYING TO "SAVE" ME!!!

Also how do I get her to let me bring wicca books and other things (pentacle necklace, etc.) out in public?

my mom isn't VERY catholic she stop going to church every week and now only goes every now and then.

also i love my mom very much (more than any one i know ) im not mad at her i just want her to see it my way

when i said "out" i meant as a wiccan not homosexually (i notticed some people got the phrases mixed up)

Answer 1

Welcome!
It's tough with moms. My mom didn't get it for a while. Now she does and she explains to other people that her daughter is pagan but it's a good thing.
I've noticed that the first time new wiccans want to do is wear their pentacle everywhere. It's a very reactive symbol and I got tired of defending it. There are other more subtle symbols you can wear that might not upset your mom--you can get a triple goddess Celtic knot. Other pagans will recognize it but non-pagans won't.
I don't know why you would need to bring your books and things out in public on a regular basis. You can put them in a backpack if you need to bring them somewhere, like to a ritual or meeting. Or make a black slipcover which you can adjust for any book and then embroider or paint it --it will be way cooler that way.
You just need to SHOW your mom that what you're doing is a good thing. You picked a good time to come out. Pagan pride day is in a couple of weeks. Find your local meeting and bring your mom. That's what it's for. You can also pick up some new friends there.
Now that you're out, especially if you wear a pentacle, get used to being "saved". It's part of this life.

Answer 2

I doubt your Mom will change very much. Maybe over time if you play it cool - out but not obtrusive - she will accept it more. Comparing her religion to Wicca - no matter if it is correct or not - really isn't going to win any brownie points. there are little books you can find at a lot of Pagan shops - something like Explaining Wicca to family (or co-workers) type thing - maybe leaving one of those around will help a bit. Just don't force it on her.

I'm pagan for many years and I've been very open to everyone - family, friends, co-workers - except my parents - and I am in my 40's. My Dad just thinks I am a tree hugger and my Mom is totally ignorant. Some people just can't be talked to.

Answer 3

First off, have you noticed that between your sexuality and your spiritual belief's its the spirituality she has a problem with? This should give you a "tremendous heads up." And NO, lol, I'm an NOT trying to save you, I could care less. Just want you to think about why a religious person would have more of a problem about your religion than your sexuality!

For one thing, she has been taught her entire life, that pagan, witches, etc., are of "the devil" and anything they deal with are thus "contaminated with unclean spirits, etc." JUST GIVE HER TIME TO SEE YOU AS YOU ARE, that is as the same person she saw you as before she KNEW you were pagan.

In other words, promise her you will leave the "wiccan" stuff alone until you move out and just concentrate on being gay. You're lucky they accept you for that, if you need to practice, find someone that can keep your books and equipment for you or rent a space. Trust me, this is small in exchange for keeping your parents on your side, and its not like your giving it up for good or even promising you will. Your just moving your stuff out of the house to practice elsewhere to keep "goodwill" which you may need sometimes in the future.

If anything buy a Box and store it in until you need it, but don't leave it out for her to find, always be considerate, to her and yourself.

Answer 4

Your mother is likely very rooted in her beliefs. Don't expect to change her any time soon. The best way is by example. Don't get extreme and make it the focus of every conversation. Don't start dressing in all black and wearing 20 lbs of "Wiccan" jewelry around your neck. Continue to do well in school and stay out of trouble. SHOW her that your newfound beliefs haven't had a negative impact on you.

Secondly (and I know you don't want to hear this) as far as her not allowing you to do "X"....it's her house. If you are still a minor under her care, she's the boss. Not the way you want it, I know, but it's the way it is. If you aren't a minor but are still living in her house, the same basic rule applies...her house, her rules.

Answer 5

Dear Wiccan,

You rock - there is no need to hide what you beleive.

it is appearent that your mother is not a good chatholic - or she would forgive you - accept you - and pray for her god to save you.

If she is afraid to have you "bring your stuff out" she again is exibiting an un-godly trait - for she is judging you & in return - her gods words state that she shall be judged.

I recomend to you this -
It is a well known fact that the Chatholic church - in an effort the convert to pagans - created the stories associated with easter & christmas among others so that the pagans would have an easy transition into oppression...

It is now your job to utilize these holidays to exemplify you paganism - Remind her that the celebration of reproduction (easter) is a wonderful thing & that in her faith - it is associated with the reproduction of christ.
You need to find every holiday that the Chatholics stole from someone else & relate it to her faith so that - in some way - she can shee that you are celebrating her god in the original & untainted way.

You could always give her a knoted rope & advise her that she is not flagelating in the way of her true chatholic predessors - or maybe she is really a luthern because we all know that martin luther discovered that you can be close to god without beating the crap out of yourself.

Either way - it is apperent that your father is closer to his god than your mother ever will be & if it is her approval that you seek - you will never get it.

You could even show her the effects of blind faith on the masses - but again - it sounds as if the chatholic church has done to your mother what they have done to women for eons - oppress them & take away their free will ... this brings me back to - give her a knotted rope & tell her to go confess to the preist that she has not been beating herself in the proper fashion & her son is going to hell... that is possibly as far as you will ever get with her

Answer 6

It would be easier to just let the subject rest and try to live a good life. My father and I simply do not discuss my faith and he worries a little that he could have done more otherwise but not enough to try to change that portion of my life now. It is simply easier for us both to leave the subject out of the conversation. I also do the same with my in-laws who know a little but don't really want to know everything. Just be thankful that she is being tolerant and not telling you to convert. Being out is not always easy.

Answer 7

I can give you hte title of a book to give her. It's very short but very accurate. Also I would explain the rede to her. My mom took years to come around. We just didn't talk about it. She now understands that it is not a phase, and that I am happy in my beliefs. She even came to the Pagan Pride Day celebration last year. Give her time. I kept my "witch" things in a box until I moved out jsut out of respect for her. Now I display them proudly in my own home. Have patience and show her by your example that it is not bad.

Blessed Be )O(

As far as wearing your pent in public just start with a small, simple one on a long chain that can be worn inside the shirt if she persists. It is not important for the public to know your beliefs as long as you know them. I wear mine openly but it is small. It is there merely for my enjoyment not their approval.

Answer 8

This depends on how old you are and if you live under thier roof or not. Keep things low key until you are on your own and then you can do whatever you want. If your Mom is not saying anything then leave it at that. You do your thing and she will do hers. Don't expect any Christmas presents though, that is a christian holiday and not what you are all about.

Answer 9

What you need to do kid is study the Catholic faith and show her a lot of the rituals the church does was once rituals practiced by pagans. You need present her with a sound argument and be well prepared for her rebuttals.

Answer 10

im a christain but im not going to try to SAVE YOU everyone is intitiled to thier own beiefs thats what makes me a little diffrent i guess.......1st off your mother has been told all her life how horrid witchcraft is bleh bleh bleh...i personaly was wiccan i found it useless an stupid ......any NORmal person christan jew muslim wiccan pegan can do most the stuff a wiccan can .....its all in your mind ....whichis good...power of the mind is an incridible thing and ( god never said dont use your brain) general christians feel that if its somthing you cant explain well then its bad...ie:auras are a big part of wiccan and stuff however christains churchs would say it doesnt excist .........you do what you feel is righ tbut if your in wiccan for the spells your not a wiccan if your in it for the religion part then you are whre you need to be. doing somthing is not the same as believing somthing! tell your mom that as a christain she has been told by her god to accept everyone......