We have been together for 5 years.
He wants to wait another year because our house will be paid off then.
I want to start in 6 months instead.
I decided I will go off birth control soon and not tell him.
He says he is ready now.
If I got pregnant now then the baby will be born after our house is paid off and we will be financially set by then.
Is this a good plan?
2006-08-11 11:56:49 · 21 answers · asked by BitchyComplainer 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I thought you just couldn't get pregnant and felt sorry for you now I see your crazy you need to get help I thought you where jealous of your friend because you could not have a baby you don't need any kids until you grow up.
2006-08-11 12:15:28 · answer #1 · answered by honeygirland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its a good plan until your husband can commit to it.
I tried cheating like that to get my husband to get me pregnant. He just got really really pissed off.
Although he did eventually give in and stopped using protection.. and BAM, baby due in Jan.
Often times, so long as your husband is willing ot have a baby, you'll find that his interest in having all his ducks in a row before baby is really a wise choice.
We women get a little blinded by our biological clocks. But trust me, what seems irrational on his part now, you will find in a few months really is a good idea.
Lastly, I would try talking with him about it more, so that he can realize that if you started trying now (its not like you are surely going to get pregnant RIGHT NOW it might take a couple months) the baby would be born after the house is all paid. And if you have insurance it will cover everything, including delivery, so there isnt that to worry about. AND if you're healthy and able you can continue to work and make house payments just like planned.
Just try to help him see it your way, but if not, then agree to disagree and wait for the house to be paid off.. but atleast have him set a start date to try for a baby.
2006-08-11 12:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is never a good idea to make a major decision that will effect both you and your husband alone. I would strongly suggest that you discuss this with your husband again. Communication and trust and respect are the key ingredients to a successful relationship, weather it is friendship or love etc.. Your husband may see your actions as a betrayal. Tell him how you feel and work from there. Having a baby is a big step and one that you should both have an equal say in. Good luck and congratulation in advance.
2006-08-11 12:08:10 · answer #3 · answered by anntrek 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! This is a touchy subject because it would be your child as well as his BUT... I say listen to your husband. He will only resent you for doing it and he may feel trapped. He also may grow to resent the child. Not a good move but I do suggest another conversation about it. Bring up your point, if you already haven't, and see how he feels about it. He may want a few months of financial freedom before that baby gets here. Just my opinion. Once you have a child, you can kiss financial freedom good bye, and it's not just for 18 years!
2006-08-11 12:05:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Regardless, I think he should be in the loop when it comes to these types of decisions. As for your thinking in that the house will be paid for by the time the baby arrives, what about the medical bills for the necessary check-ups and little things like buying stuff before the baby does arrive, increase in your food consumption, or maternity clothes. these are more expenses that you two will have to take on including the mortgage...
2006-08-11 12:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by ronbacardi96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You appear to be a spoiled brat. Your husband doesn't agree with you, so you're going to do it anyway.
If you are really willing to deceive him by stopping the pill, then I can understand why he does not want to have children with you......yet.
He does not want to drag a child into a marriage that WILL be full of lies.
I just want to make sure I have this straight: your plan is to lie to (or deceive) your husband because the two of you cannot agree on family planning.
And you think this is a good idea?
Short answer: NO
2006-08-11 12:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Ciliciam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be sneeky, It's wrong!
Have a heart to heart with him explain about how babies take 9 months. I've learned in life if you wait until your financialy ready, it'll never happen. There's always something. Talk with him maybe the truth lies deeper and that excuse is an easy way out for him. Remind him how you think he'd make an awsome father, see if maybe he'll warm up to you, and spill (or not). Good Luck!!!
2006-08-11 12:07:51 · answer #7 · answered by brandiwine72 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not good that you took yourself off the pill without telling him. If he is not ready to have a child yet don't force him. 1 year is not that long and it seams that he wants to be financially secure before the baby is born. Having a child changes EVERYTHING..... ESPECIALLY FINANCES!!! I think that you should stop deceiving him and come clean with quiting the pill. You guys have been married for five years...don't start misleading him. I hope my comment was able to help you.
2006-08-11 12:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by marrian g 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a bad move to go off b/c without you both agreeing to it. This is the sort of thing that can wreck a marriage. Talk it over with him, and remember if he wants to wait a year, a year is not that long. He wants what is best for you and the baby and that is a near debt free life.
2006-08-11 12:02:47 · answer #9 · answered by B R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
compromise - wait six months then go off birth control but be honest with him and tell him. Talk to an OB/Gyn - they may recommend going a few cycles off birth control (but using condoms to prevent pregnancy) before trying so a sto clear you system of all the synthetic hormones. Be sure to take prenatal vitamins BEFORE you get pregnant so your baby will have all the right nutrients (esp., folic acid) from day one of conception.
2006-08-11 12:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by Signilda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋