my fiance. First when he does come to bed he does hold my stomach...He does talk about them with ethusiasum...like names and diapers cloths etc. But he has only been to two appointments and when he has said he would go in the past ..he is sick or something comes up!
He does seem happy in general but details wise he is lacking. Anyone else experiance that?
2006-07-24 10:16:44 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
when i got pregnant, my husband didn't take an interest in anything, we didn't get around to choosing our daughter's name until September and she was born in November. be glad that he went willingly to two appointments; i only got my husband to go to two through out the entire 9months, one to meet the doctor and the other to the ultrasound.
your fiance may just be overwhelmed with details and because there are too many things flying in his face at the same time he is shutting down, that's what my husband did. let him take a break from the appointments for a while, make sure he goes to the ultrasound, though. i am sure that once he sees that little person it will become more real and he will be more than willing to talk about details. after all the doctors appointments after the first few that a man goes to are pretty boring. they are happy meeting the doctor and hearing the heartbeat, and then they want to see what they helped create, that's pretty much all my husband wanted; everything else was too much info and he shut down.
don't worry, take it in stride and lay off the poor guy for awhile he just may need a break. do, however; make sure he goes to the ultrasound and to the preregistration at the hospital so that both of you know where you are going when the BIG day arrives.
Congrats on both the new baby and the upcoming wedding
2006-07-24 10:49:40 · answer #1 · answered by amesanita1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a guy. It does not seem to actually be such a big deal until they can actually see the baby or even a little while later when they are a little easier to handle. I do not think most men do go to the appointments. Most I know are working anyway when these things can be scheduled. Mostly, I think it is just more hormonal for the woman. We want to be pampered and cood over!! Lacking in the details? That is why women are mothers!!
2006-07-24 10:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by jsid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was the same way. I made my doctor appointments late in the evening so he could go with me, but he always had to work late. He went with me to my first appointment and the was it the whole 9 months until she was born. I do have to say that he was very much excited, though. He talked to my stomach all the time! Your fiance isn't acting like that because he doesn't care, maybe he is scared. Some men are like that.
2006-07-24 10:26:44 · answer #3 · answered by mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Count yourself lucky--he went to two. I have 2 daughters and he only went to one appointment, and that was with the first. Men tend to get nervous around doctors when it comes to babies, so don't expect him to be hands on with the sonogram and follow-ups. I've heard some men even faint at the sight of the baby being born, so just be warned.
They will, however be more hands-on once the baby arrives and requires visits to the Pediatrician.
Good luck and prosper...!*!...
Don't bring him down by showing him his downfaults, but play up his good points instead, or else he'll never help.
2006-07-24 10:35:43 · answer #4 · answered by bye 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I had my daughter my fiance only came to one visit and that was when we found out what sex the baby was. He was always really nervous throughout my pregnancy..... he would talk to my stomach and rub it for a little bit but then he would shy away. Come to find out... he didn't want to hurt me at night. Your husband is probably just really nervous!! and how many men do you know that details are important to?? He's happy!!! Just give him some time and he'll be more excited about the details.
2006-07-24 10:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by jesfow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about it? Does he know that you'd really like him to be more involved with the details? Maybe he can tell you why it's hard for him to be involved.
Communication is often hard -- but when you're experiencing such a life-changing event as having a baby, it can really be difficult. Just try to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. At the same time, listen when he voices his own fears, concerns, etc. Chances are that the pregnancy is much more real for you than for him.
Here's some advice from a wonderful OB:
Relationship Changes in Pregnancy
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/pregnancy/245/relationship-changes-in-pregnancy
How is the pregnancy affecting your relationship? Usually, pregnancy is more real to the mother-to-be, especially early on. After all, she is the one who is experiencing physical and emotional changes. Her partner, meanwhile, can more easily forget all about it. In case you haven't noticed, women and men often deal with experiences differently...
Best of luck to you and your growing family,
Rachel
2006-07-24 10:26:51 · answer #6 · answered by laleegager 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU'RE PREGNANT, not him. What more do you want the man to do, deliver the baby? When a woman has a baby that is just what SHE does. If he helps out in the future, you're lucky. Should have discussed how NEEDY you are before you got pregnant. Since he is your fiance, let's just hope he sticks around and marries you. With all your moaning and complaining you'll be lucky if he doesn't decide, "Since I've had the milk, why buy the cow!"
Quit your whining!
2006-07-24 10:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a man hunny! My husband doesn't really show the enthusiasm towards my pregnancy either. He didn't with my first child either..but when my son came he was all tears and all sorts of emotions were flying out of him. It was hard for him to contain his excitement. For a man..he isn't carrying the thing and to him it's not real until it's REAL! Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy...if you're really concerened talk to him about it and see what he says. When I talked to my husband about his lacking enthusiasm he said he was excited but to him it isn't real yet. I'm only 12 weeks so I've got a long way to go yet. even at five months you've got a while to go. Just take it easy and enjoy.
2006-07-24 11:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time......My husband rubbed my tummy and talked more about our son the further along I got. He said it was because he could feel the baby moving more and when he came to the appointment when we found out the sex of the child, it was more surreal.
Don't take it personally. If it bothers you that much, start small talk with your fiance. Ask him questions about the baby,ie: what do you think he/she will look like, what goofy relative do you hope the baby WON'T look like.....those types of things.
Have you told him how you felt?
2006-07-24 10:25:07 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, you're not the only one. I'm about 5 months pregnant now and EVERY woman I know has been through this. You have to remember that he loves you but this is experience is far more precious for us then it is for them.
They think it's easy while we're dying to keep some food down and wishing we didn't have to go to work everyday. Just know that they all go through it and it will get better. My husband does and says the most stupid things without considering my feelings.
Sit him down, talk to him and tell him that you feel alone and he should step up. I'm sure he'll listen.
Good luck!
2006-07-24 10:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by s_sill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋