How can I get my wife to increase the intensity and eroticism of our lovemaking ? Needs more spice !!?

Question

It seemed that - once married - our love-making dipped somewhat and certain acts of foreplay disappeared from the agenda. Not from mine, I hasten to add !
How can we re-kindle that spark and - without sounding too selfish, cos I'm not - how can I get her to try those things that I know would turn us both on ??
I do love her ..... but know it could be sooo much better !!

Answer 1

You need to make her feel as if it was the beginning all over again. Soft touches throughout the day, lil kisses, caresses, Lil love notes placed sparatically throughout the house. In the bathroom, her purse, the fridge, her steering wheel, etc, etc,. You have to keep the torch lit just like it was the first time. Yes it is work but is it worth working for? As for the XXX in the bed room find out if she wants explore diferent tactics adn how to go about it depends on the two of you. You may be ablt slip some in during the heat of the moment. But always remember it's not about how much money you spend but the little things mean much more. Okay, maybe 2$ buy a sweet card and mail it to her on your way to work one-day. So when she gets home and sees she has a card in the mail the excitement to cross her face when she sees it is from you will be priceless!

Answer 2

A nice pillow talk conversation will do nicely since some people may be put off by a sex talk over dinner.

Suggest a planned intimate evening (maybe even a weekend away together) and start with a little something extra...then ask what you can do over and above that (or if there is anything specific she wants). Take baby steps though as a lot of people are mortified at the mere thought of having a conversation about what feels good and what they're willing to try. It's building a whole different level of trust.

Answer 3

Men don't seem to understand a few things, ready? First, how much of the housework do you do? Yeah, I thought pretty much next to nothing. She work outside the home too? Yep, and so she's dead when she gets home, does laundry, cleans the house, makes the meals, goes grocery shopping, takes care of the kids, picks up after you, etc., etc. Now, do you understand why she may not be so interested in "spicing up" anything??? SHE'S TOO TIRED!!! For women, romance begins outside of the bedroom. When was the last time you actually did something just for her, special, that she would love? Flowers for no reason, just because you love her. Dinner at a wonderful restaurant. A special day just for her to pamper herself at a spa. Give her a card to tell her how special she is. Tell her after she's taken her makeup off and has that frumpy old robe on how beautiful she is to you.

Get the idea?

Now, another thing, communication...that means talking...the big "T" word men hate so much. Explain to her you'd like this or that again, you miss it. But make darn sure you've made her day easier as I've explained above. No woman likes to feel taken for granted and that is a major complaint of most married women.

Answer 4

Are you really sure that things were that great before marriage? I'm about to dump my partner for this reason. Lived with him for two years and he'd lie there all night while you made sure he was feeling good, but he thinks foreplay is turning the light off! Now I thinkback though, I dont think he was ever that great. Its just that there was this thing that you get on, same sense of humour, like each others company, and sex with a new partner ( I was married a long long time) is a novelty. I was expecting one day things would happen...they don't. Trust me...

Answer 5

Talk to her.May she thinks you are o.k.with things as they are.It can be a difficult subject to breach especially for women.A lot of men will usually raise their eyebrows if a woman started talking about these things.It's like 'where have you learnt about that' so probably this is the case.You may be thinking it's her with the problem when she actually is thinking otherwise.It depends on how open you are with one another.Talk to her maybe she may open up.Don't let her feel like she has let you down or you are not happy with her perfomance but just that may be you could spice up things up.This usually happens to moast couples after a while things just lull for some reason.We tend to end up behaving like son and mother inlaw.Good Luck

Answer 6

I suggest try emailing each other erotic messages throughout the day. Be specific as to what you want to do. My husband and I started doing this about 2 months ago and it has up'd our sex life tremendously. He writes to me and tells me things like " I wish you were under my desk sucking me" and then I'll email him back and say something like "baby, i wish you were eating me right now" and we go into more details. By the time we get home, we both want each other so bad, the sex is great! Also, we always make time for each other. We take one day out of the week and go out to dinner and a movie and mess around in the theatre. Try being spontaneous and try different locales and definately introduce toys into your sex life. They are great!

Answer 7

That's what dirty wekends are for!

Start dating again - flirt and whisper naughty things, snog in the back fo cabs etc etc.

My man took me to the Dovecote in oxfordshire when our relationship was a bit stale - with its sauna, gastropub delivery service, beautiful double bed in the eaves and a bottle of champagne we had such a great time rediscovering each other - heartily recommended! Pricey but so worth it!

I'm almost hoping it goes off theboil a bit again - I'm dying to go to the witchery in Edinburgh for more fun and frolics!

Answer 8

ease her into something new. maybe a can of whipped cream to start then a semi erotic movie to an erotic movie to an all out xxx anything goes flick. Dont dump it all on her at once just try something new once in awhile. what about handcuffs hidden under the pillow to emerge at just the right time. Women like it kinky too. she may jsut be a little shy or tired. maybe she's wishing the same thing of you

Answer 9

Give her what she wants and she'll give you want you want.
Give her a little romance.

Tell her you have dinner plans with a business associate and his wife. Tell her you have to pick them up. Make reservations at a local hotel, fill the room with roses, and have a bottle of wine, some bread/cheese/salami/fruit, a nice soft porn film, etc. already in the room.

Go to the door, knock on it, pretend they don't answer. Ask her to knock on the next door over. Open your door and pretend there are people in there. When she walks in, kiss her, ply her with wine,sate her with food, massage her, make love to her.

... you will be rekindled.

Answer 10

Discuss your ideas and concerns with your wife and maybe she'll surprise you but remember her wishes count too and what turns you on may not turn her on.Expecting someone to do something they are uncomfortable with or really dislike just for your pleasure is wrong. Compromise is the key to relationships in and out of bed.