My husband stays oversea and all of the responsibility regarding kids and others at home. This morning, I don't feel good because he's angry at me and said that because he late send me money, make me always look for reason to argue. I dn't even had enough time to sleep with my other 3 kids, especially the youngest is 18 mths. I feel bad because he always never appreciated what I'm doing for the family plus I'm working too. He said I always look for thing to argue and never say thank you that he is supported me. I'm just very tired and need his help too, not just money but himself as a husband and a father. He'll be back just for visit 2 months once for only 1 week.
2006-07-17 15:37:54 · 22 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Man what as **** i love my kids i couldn't stand being away from them at all, you are doing a brilliant job with your kids , no you are not the bad guy in this , he is , ask him if he really does love you and the kids or if he does this job so he doesn't have to worry about being around them like a real father would, i would hire a nanny or some one to help , stuff him if he doesn't like the idea you need your rest. email me if you want to chat more about it OK ,i have big shoulder to help you cry on. LOL
2006-07-17 15:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by diablo0470 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I hope you and the kids have a church home. I hope you have someone to talk to. I hope you are taking the time to do "something you enjoy "just because" I Really hope you and your husband love each other, and that his complaints are stemming from the guilt he must have because he can't be there. The only way a person can argue is to have someone to argue with. Why waste the precious moments you have talking to him in an argument? It wouldn't hurt for you to tell him that you appreciate him and tell him often that you love him. He needs to share in whatever decisions that he can. I don't know how long he has been overseas or what your relationship was like before. Pat yourself on the back daily! Don't worry yourself with the things you cannot change. Allow yourself to have a private pitty party or call and talk to your best friend. You have got to have a place to vent your frustrations..but, you cannot allow yourself to let his words make you feel bad. Take care of you and your children and stop stressing over the things you have no control of.
2006-07-17 23:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by kayboff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This really isn't unusual..ever heard the sayings "war is Hell" and "war is Hell, on the home-front, too." ?
You have no idea how stressed he is AND he really has no idea how stressed you are, too.
It's easy for a man to forget that his wife hates being apart as much as he hates being away. You want him to be their to take the weight off your shoulders and he wants you to hold the fort down while he's gone. Neither of you are wrong or right here, it's just one of the many consequences of war on young couples in the military or any other marriage strained by time and distance.
I would recommend some marriage counseling (preferably military experienced) . Try the chaplain and talk to the other wives about resources on post. Many military wives band together to support and help each other; often, forming informal support groups. Never forget family, too..they can be a great help.
It sounds like you really love your husband!
If the good Lord's willing; may He bless you both and strengthen your marriage, amen.
2006-07-17 22:56:04 · answer #3 · answered by Kenneth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is overseas also. Has been for 4 months. We have been married for 30 years and he is overseas because he doesn't want to deal with anything anymore. He just walked away and left me with all the problems then e-mails and act like I made him have to go overseas where he has no responsibility. He left me with a huge load to take care of and sometimes gets mad.
So what do I have to say? No matter what you are right you need help and support. Do you have friends you can talk to? Is there a church you can get help from?
Next, while he doesn't feel appreciated it's obvious he doesn't appreciate you either. You shouldn't have to feel upset because you ask questions and he doesn't answer them. I have a feeling that this is somethng that is going on with the 2 of you. You ask questions and he acts like you are doing something wrong by asking. You're not. If he didn't send the money on time that's not your fault that is him looking for an excuse for being irresponsible.
Reconsider your situation. Really think hard about whether you want to be married to this person and whether this is working for you. You also should consider getting professional help like a social worker. Just having someone to talk to can really help you to feel not so overwhelmed and alone.
2006-07-17 22:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by charmingchatty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you and your hubby have some communication issues. You need to talk to him and let him know how you feel. Tell him that you appreciate him supporting the family, but that you also want him to know how hard it is to raise 3 kids, take care of the house, and work. Tell him you are feeling run down and are very overwhelmed. He needs to know whats going on at home.
2006-07-17 22:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get the feeling he is over seas fighting this dumb *** war that we should not be anyway,write to your congress men and tell them you are having very hard times making ends meet at home, and call the red cross and tell them the same thing tell them you are becoming very deppresseed and you need him home to take care of the kids before you kill them all, I think if all the wives do this maybe then we can get the hell out of there and mind our own business for a little while.
2006-07-17 22:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by citisat 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes it is so very hard when ones away. But I mean they are his children too. so all of the finical responsibility should on both of you. But I'm sure he really misses all of you. I see it when you say you argue. But I know how hard it is on a woman. When she is left alone by herself with no man to give her comfort. It is not easy. But what I would is give it to God.
2006-07-17 22:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hony is not you niether of your fault he is trying to support the family and you just get to tierd handeling everything on your own .
he needs to find a job close to home and stay and help. you are like a single mom trying to do everthing all by youself. if he can not coumit to his family you better find some one us. is not only about the kida you need some one to love you and pamper you.
2006-07-17 22:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by missy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be hard for the both of you, but you should really be less negative when talking with him. I take it he is in the military. If so, he is in a more dangerous situation than we could ever know. He needs your love and support when his calls.
2006-07-17 22:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by ladysodivine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since this is becomming such a strain, maybe its best you both talk about him eaither getting a new job closer to home, or maybe just break up. you are right you do need a husband and father who is there for both you and the kids.
2006-07-17 22:41:28 · answer #10 · answered by Kittie_Nash 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋