someone who is very close to me is using me as a punchbag every time he has a problem, I can't leave him,and I can't talk back, for this would make him more violent.
I don't have anyone to defend me ,or to advise him to be good to me.I also can't report him because it would be a disaster to my family and to myself also.
what should I do?
2006-07-10 10:44:18 · 20 answers · asked by lily 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I mean if he had a bad day at work, he would come and point out any thing wrong and tells me that I'm the one to blame.
2006-07-10 10:52:13 · update #1
You really need to find someone you can trust and talk to them. I don't know if this person is married to you or family..but when you say you can't leave..Tell you what..My mother went through this..not always physical abuse but also mental..This guy had a controlling problem. These type of people are so out of control themselves that they need to bring others down with them to make them feel powerful. Sometimes you are all by yourself in tough situations but you have to realize that you are stronger than he has or she has made you out to be. If your family loves you and knows anything about the situation that you are in..as far as if your talking about some kind of reputation..they should support you and save you from the abuse...but most importantly save yourself...you may love this person..but believe me you can't fix or change him..and someday this kind of abuse can lead to someones death...then what kind of disaster would that cause for the family to lose someone that they love. Please take Care and Love yourself enough to get out.
2006-07-10 10:58:59 · answer #1 · answered by Paige 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What others have said is true.
You need to stand up for yourself, it doesn't matter who this person is, nobody has the right to treat another human being as a punchbag. I understand that maybe you are afraid of causing problems to your family, but if they are truly a loving family, they will understand your situation and take your side! And if they don't, I'm afraid that you will need, to your best interest, to get away from all of them.
You cannot let this situation continue. I suggest you try talking with the rest of the family, tell them what's going on, and try to do all what's possible to get this person change his ways (maybe with a family talk to convince him to seek psychological counseling?), and if he refuses to stop or to seek counseling, you will need to get this person away from your life, either by kicking him out, moving out yourself, or reporting him to the police.
If you are afraid, I'd suggest looking for the support or advice of a friend or relative you can trust. Someone that could help you to stand up to this person.
I wish I could help you more, but with the few details you give us, this is all I can tell you. Good luck.
2006-07-10 17:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Firefox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take appropriate action. Nothing will cause a disaster to your family, but your belief. When 1 door shuts, another is already open. Your fear, worry is overpowering you. Let go of worry and fear, take it as a god given situation to show you the strengths within you. Giving in to your fears and worries, u r designing a certain future. Choosing to take appropriate action, responsibility for your life, u can create another future, the one u like.
Love
2006-07-10 17:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Report him to the police.
2. ' PRESS CHARGES '!
3. While he's locked away, haul a s s, and relocate somewhere else. Tell ' NO ONE ' where you've gone. I repeat, ' TELL NO ONE '. If you do, he'll track you down.
There's always an 'out' for any situation.
2006-07-10 17:54:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you leave him or report him? Why is it a disaster? You deserve better than to be someone's punching bag. If you report him, he'll get help ofr his anger problem and you'll get protection. Doesn't matter what type of person this person is or what he gives you. If he is using you as his punching bag, he doesn't deserve you.
2006-07-10 17:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by christigmc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have to stand up for yourself sometime. Living like you are will go no where. You are the only one that can make a change. You have to do what is best for you and not worry so much about everyone else.
2006-07-10 17:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you've reached either your breaking point or the point at which you're not going to take any more, you'll do what you need to and you'll seek out ways to immediately remove yourself from the situation and not just scoping out people's responses on Answers.
2006-07-10 18:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police on him the next time he gets violent. If you are gonna break up with him do it in a public place so people can help you if he gets violent. You do not deserve a terrible person like him!
2006-07-10 17:48:29 · answer #8 · answered by songbird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's beating on you, you have to leave. The only person that matters in this situation is you, not him, not your family, just you. You need to get out and tell the police a.s.a.p. Beating on women is absolutely unacceptable.
2006-07-10 17:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by DIRT MCGIRT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on who it is!? sounds like you need to get out of that relationship, if you can't leave then you will eventually be hurt badly. you need to contact a womens shelter or the police. what would be a disaster to your family is if you were hurt or killed.
you need to take care of you.
2006-07-10 17:53:23 · answer #10 · answered by monkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋