Do you think its a good idea to "confront" people? Or should I not care so much?

Question

Do you think if you have an unresolved issue with someone you should confront them? I tried this with a friend I felt was verbally abusive to me. But according to my brother, my friend is "like this to everyone else too." Could it be that I care to much and just take things personal?

Also, why is it when I start to care about someone everything tends to crash and burn. For instance, right when I started actually caring about this girl I was dating we started arguing more. Or like in the above example, caring about my friend's outbursts to me so much. I'm trying to accomplish something here by confronting, but I think everyone is just starting to dislike me. Please help.

Answer 1

you have answered your own question.. confrontation rarely resolves an issue.. people don't like to be criticized even with good intentions on your part you will be disliked.

Answer 2

I think that confronting a person is a fair thing to do for THAT person, as long as it's done in THEIR best interest - basically, if you're only confronting someone because your feelings were hurt, I would think long and hard before confronting them. If it becomes a pattern, then go for it, but one instance of hurting you does not deserve that uncomfortable "We have to talk" situation. Confronting someone should be done as a service to them and a way to fairly warn them that THEY are sabotaging their own relationships. A confrontation should always have their interests at heart first and foremost and if that's your real motive, then it's a fair a good thing for a friend to do. I am not saying you won't receive back a negative reaction, but if you approach it gently and kindly, hopefully that consideration of their feelings will mean enough to your friend for them to listen -and change.

Answer 3

If you can't confront your friend then that person is not your friend. Friends should be able to have open discussions, and talk things out without fighting or not wanting anything to do with each other anymore. I had a friend kind of like that but she wasn't verbally abusive just obnoxious, and flirted with my husband too much. When I confronted her she exploded and I figured out who she really was. We haven't been friends since but I feel GREAT that we're not anymore. Network more be sociable I'm sure someone else out there could be a more compatible friend.

Answer 4

i think if you have a problem with the way someone is treating you then you have every right to talk to them about. try to be gentle and not over the top... if that doesn't work maybe you need some new friends.

also when you said "I think everyone is just starting to dislike me"... just because you think something or interpret a certain behaviour in a specific way is doesn't make it fact. unless you are being told that you are disliked then there is probably little truth in that thought... have a chat to someone you feel comfortable with

Answer 5

Perhaps it's not the confrontation, as much as how you present your issue. I have the same prob, in that when I try to be nice about making a point....the point is lost in misunderstanding.

With that said, if you're a good communicator, then go for it.
If not, perhaps brush up on your communication skills. Then come back an let me know what knowledge your've acquired. :)

Answer 6

Always confront someone if you feel wronged, it could be the first step to being bullies and you have a moral responsibility to speak up if someone is being an ***. always be tactful and polite, stick to how it made you feel and don't apologise for your own feelings.
If this guy is a decent person he will realise and temper his behaviour accordingly

Answer 7

only confront ppl when it really matters to you, otherwise its a wast of time and your energy!

Answer 8

do not care so much