What finally inspired you to leave your abusive relationship?

Question

What finally inspired you to leave your abusive relationship? Give others a kick in the behind and inspire them to also get out!!

Answer 1

I was in an abusive marriage for 32 stupid years. I was taught that you stick it out no matter what. So I did. I wasted my whole life. The only thing I did get out of the marriage was 2 wonderful children. They never knew what was going on. My husband rarely abused me when they were around.

But by the time the kids were in there teens, they would ask why I was taking the verbal and mental abuse they heard. Then I got tired of apologizing for his attitude all the time to others.

I watched every thing that I could on abuse and self improvement, on T.V.

When my dad, (who was like my husband) passed away, I saw my mom actually be happy. Kind of like Whooppee!!!!! That for me, made me decide that I would rather spend at least one year of my life HAPPY than another forty years miserable. So went to women's resource centre and asked alot of questions. Less than 6 months later, I left. I went to a women's transition home, to get some time on my own with counsellors, and then got my own apartment.

I have never looked back. That was just over 2 1/2 years ago. I have really never been happier. A year ago I refound an old friend and neighbour, that is divorced and we have been together since, enjoying life.

Answer 2

I was in an abusive marriage for 3 years it is very hard to make big changes in your life and after being abused you have very low self esteem and start to feel dependent on the abuser (that's part of the abuse) But I always knew that I would leave one day, somehow, but I often wished the he would get in a bad accident therefor I wouldn't have to take the first step (the hardest) in leaving. But when your mind is made up to go and you are just scared to leave sometimes a door will just open "the window of opportunity" and you know when its open and just go, I left every thing all I had were the clothes on my back....By the way every thing was replaceable!!! Now I am a much better person, maybe too independent!! If you are asking this for a friend rent Enough watch it with her, be supportive, not pushy

Answer 3

I was dating an abusive man back in 1993, I think. Horrible. My husband is dumb-founded that I put up with any abuse - verbal or physical because I'm such a strong woman with a strong personality. But they have a way of manipulating you.

I had a guy friend (just a friend, nothing more) see this happening to me and told me to come up and spend the weekend with him to see how life should be. I did. I saw how people were laughing, joking and having fun. OK, here's the "shame on me" part, kind of: I met a great guy (now my husband of 10 years, together 13) and saw how much respect I was given and how wonderful he was. His eyes...I could see how gentle and loving and protective he was. I saw how it COULD be and when I went home, I said my "good-byes" and never looked back. The guy got help after I left and he thanked me for my kindness and apologized. He turned out the way he did because of 5 older sisters who tortured and teased him in ways that would make you cry.

I can only say that abusers are great at manipulating. Little by little they whittle you down to nothing. They can be so loving and wonderful at times....enough to get your heart right where they want it.

Please...if you are in an abusive relationship, get help.

Get away by yourself (if you can) for a little bit...even for a weekend. I'm not saying you won't miss him, but perhaps your self-esteem will rebound enough where you'll realize how much you've missed the "real you".

And if you aren't able to leave safely, leave mentally. Know in your heart that you are gone. Prepare yourself for leaving. Call who you need to call, save enough money to do what you need to do (cash-back from grocery store trips?), find out who can help. Just cover your tracks. And then do it. You'll feel lost for a bit - just like any 'new' deal - but your life will be greatly enriched.

Answer 4

A combination of things made me ditch the psychological abuse I suffered for two years. First was just mulling it over...and over, and over, during the terrible breakups he'd put me through, and just growing up over the years. The final straw was when a really amazing person came into my life. The pure fact that real men like him existed was the boost of confidence I needed to finally end that runaway train of a relationship. And to make things even better, I'm now with that really amazing person, and it's a fantastic, healthy relationship. Your assumption about the end of the emotional and mental part of the relationship and residual love of simply the companionship seems pretty much right on the money. I don't think you should continue doing that to yourself. You need to find someone that you can have a real, fulfilling relationship with, in all aspects.

Answer 5

I can't speak from personal exerience, but someone punching/kicking me around would be enough. I don't plan to stay and let someone abuse me. I would have to leave or kill them.

Answer 6

my ex husband broke 4 of my ribs, and my jaw in font of my children