Can it be cured? Would cheering him help? Can I talk about stuff like when I have a bad day or should I not burden him with it. I am willing to try anything and am dedicated to him. We love each other very much, and I want to be the person he can go to when he is feeling sad, etc. What do you wonderful people suggest?
2006-06-20 07:42:35 · 14 answers · asked by ? 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
People don't just "cheer up" from depression. It is natural to want to do that, but you can't do it, so don't blame yourself. It is true that seeking treatment early is VERY important, but he has to agree and feel comfortable working with a therepist. If he won't, it is not your fault. And even when he does, be prepared for a LONG road to recovery. Each medication takes 3 weeks to several months to evaluate and many people have to try well over a dozen combinations. In the mean time, be patient with him and you. It is OK to feel frustrated. The best way to shorten the road is regular psychotherepy. (That is not the same as psycho-analysis) He is probably not avoiding you or trying to hide his feelings from you because he does not trust you. Depression is less comparable to "sadness" and more to "numbness" or "tiredness". It is hard to communicate why nothing makes us feel better, so we just keep quiet.
Make it clear you love him, even if he says or does something stupid or crazy. If you have trouble getting him to go to a psychologist, try going yourself for a few weeks and then tell him about the experience. It is more like chatting with a friend than going to a doctor. A psychiatrist is different than a psychologist, a psychiatrist mostly prescribes medication and is more like a regular doctor. Do your homework on depression. Know the DSMV - IV definition of depression, check out Web MD and other online sites, know the warning signs of suicide. It would be great if you could get involved in a NAMI "Family to Family" class in your area. They are very cool and laid back, and give lots of good information.
Make sure YOU have at least 10 good friends who know how you feel about your boyfriend. You need people you can vent to about this without them thinking you want to leave. People who can remind you that it is not your fault, 30 times a day if nessasary.
My husband was depressed when we started dating, I tried my best to get him help, but even after he made a plan for suicide I couldn't get him to reliably attend therepy or take meds. It has taken ten years and several hospitalizations to get him serious about this and I think we are facing another decade of treament plans ahead. Earlier treament would have prevented this. Hang in there, there is life during and after depression. God Bless.
2006-06-20 10:28:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jeanne- LEAVES Military Ministry 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
How To Help Depressed Boyfriend
2016-12-26 16:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by estepp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Overcome your Depression Without Medication
2016-04-24 23:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he been diagnosed as being clinically depressed? Depression is not just an emotional state--there is actually a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be the cause of it. I was diagnosed as depressed in December and I have found that the combination of professional therapy and medication (monitored by a psychiatrist) have been extremely helpful.
As your boyfriend's partner, I think it would be really helpful for him to know that you will stick with him and work with him on this. Encourage him to do the things that he likes to do (or used to like to do--many people who are depressed find it difficult to enjoy the things they used to enjoy) and continue with a set schedule that includes regular, healthy sleeping hours and an eating schedule.
Does your boyfriend have friends? It may be helpful to get them to help you take care of him. This could mean taking turns following up with him or hanging out with him. They don't necessarily have to know about his depression (a lot of my friends don't--I am really picky about who I choose to tell it to).
Also, take care of you. This is really important. If you're not doing well, then where will you find the energy to take care of him? It can be difficult to constantly try to "cheer him up" while feeling like your needs (emotional or whatever) aren't being met by him. Make sure that you're also seeking support.
Take care.
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2014-09-15 01:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for him is to tell him what you said here. Make sure he knows that he can turn to you and that you care about him. Let him know that he can talk to you about anything and listen, really listen to him when he talks. Talking to him about your bad day can help him by taking his mind of his issues, or upset it, it depends on his state of mind. If he seems to get upset when you talk about you bad day, stop and ask him what's wrong. Other than being there for him and supporting him, there isn't much you can do. He'll have to deal with it himself. Seeing a MHP (mental health professional) will help him a lot, but be careful not to alienate him by nagging him about it. Good luck!
2006-06-20 07:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by rebelwitch80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A cute smile is a wonderfull remedy for all illness and depression. hold his hand, kiss it and talk to his each and every wonderfull moments u have shared together. Tell him about those moments when u were depressed and how he ..in moments of time..brought cheer to ur soul and solved all ur problems. tell him little things about life and how ups and downs are part an parcel of life........above all make him feel secure tht come what may u will never leave his side and will stand by him forever.
i think thts enough to kooll even my soul honey.....
gud luck.
2006-06-20 08:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes depression can be cured. Talking helps, but a professional in the field will be a better benefit for your boyfriend. Stay strong and be there for him, but again the professionals can truely get to the source of his depression.
2006-06-20 07:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Rhianan 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is he depressed or does he have depression?
Can he snap out of it? Does he still enjoy certain things?
If he can't and he doesn't, he may have clinical depression.
Try this: BOOK: The Feeling Good Handbook.
I think it's written by David Burns, but I'm not sure.
2006-06-20 07:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing for him is to convince him to seek counseling. That is so important for his well being. They will most likely recommend medicine, but that will depend on the evaluation they do on him. Once he starts the medicine it can take up to six weeks to work. Between the counseling and the medication he will start to feel better and then you will begin to see a change. Hang in there he will need all your support.
2006-06-20 07:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by rottenkid4560 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋