wots your favouite lymerick?

Question

Heres mine. There was a young man from Brazil who swallowed a gunpowder pill. His belly retired,his bum open fired and his willy shot over the hill.

Answer 1

Mary had a little lamb, it fleece was black as charcoal,
Every time it clashed it legs,
the sparks flew up its @rsehole

OR

My brother Billy had a ten foot w!lly,
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake,
So she hit it with a rake,
Now its only three foot four!

Both are crap, but very slightly humerous!!!!

Answer 2

There was an old lady from Ryde,
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples, fermented
(inside the lamented)
made cider inside 'er inside.

I was going to put another Mary had a little lamb up, but if anyone complains or a moderator finds it I'll be banned :-(

Answer 3

7 wise men with brilliant minds ,
Decide to build a ***** of their own designs.
The 1st a Carpenter full of wit,
With hammer and chissel he made the slit.
The 2nd a Blacksmith black as coal,
With anvil and sledge he made the hole.
The 3rd a Tailor tall and thin,
With a piece of red ribbon he lined it within.
The 4th a Furrier big and stout,
With the skin of a bear he lined it without.
The 5th a Fishmonger tall and bent,
With a dirty old herring he gave it scent.
The 6th a Doctor with an MD degree,
Poked it and felt it said it would pee.
The 7th a Rabbi a mean little runt,
F----d and blessed it and called it a c--t.

Answer 4

There was a young lady from Tottenham
who had no manners, else forgotten 'em.
One day at the vacar's
she tore off her knickers
And explained that she had fealt 'ot in 'em.

Mary had a little lamb
its feet were black as soot.
And in Mary's jam pot
its sooty foot he put.

Answer 5

There was a young lady from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling ,
She fell on her back,
Opened her crack,
And peed all over the ceiling!

or how about;

There was a young fellow from Leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
The bades of grass,
Grew out of his a*se,
And his bo***cks were covered with weeds!

Answer 6

There was a young lady from Spain.Who tried to jump over a train. The train gave a shunt and blue off her c#nt/ so now the poor lady has nain........

Answer 7

pop eye the sailor man, he lived in a caravan, he turned up the gas and blow up his *** pop eye the sailor man, tut tut


Young nurses can give the impression. Because of their chosen profession. Of being au fait. In an intimate way. With a gentleman's private possession.


That nothing exists cannot be,
For if nothing existed, you see,
'T would be nothing no more,
And there's nothing so sure.
(But it's nothing that's bothering me.)

Answer 8

five and twenty virgins came down from inverness
when the show was over there was five and twenty less
arses to your partner faces to the wall
if you've never been fucked on a saturday night you've never been fucked at all
The village vicar he was there dressed in collar and shroud
swinging on the chandelier and pissing on the crowd.
It just goes on and on its an old rugby song but it still makes me laugh

Answer 9

There was a young lady called Grace,
Who had spots all over her face,
She thought she should pop 'em,
In order to stop 'em,

But blew off her head into space.

Rather shite. sorry.

Answer 10

for anyone who's into maths....

There was a mathematician called Hall
Who had an octagonal ball
the cube of its weight
plus his penis times eight
was twice the square root of fuckall