hi sad b/c my cat died plez cheer me up?

Question

my cat just died and im sad so do u guys hav anything that will make me laugh?? make it clean w/out being mean to races and stuff lik that

Answer 1

This is from beliefnet.com

Pun With Monks 6/11/06

Lost on a rainy night, a nun stumbles across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips she's ever had. After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. She is met by two brothers.
"Hello, I'm Brother Michael, and this is Brother Charles."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"

Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
She turns the other brother and says, "Then you must be...?"
"Yes, I'm the chip monk."

Answer 2

I don't have anything funny to tell you but I do have something that might make you feel better. I also had a cat that died almost 3 years ago. I had her for 16 years. She was with me growing up since I was 8. My dad was in the military so we moved around a lot and she was the only friend I had. She was my daughter/child and we had a funeral and everything. This November will be 3 years and it does get better. Nobody was closer to their pet than I was. You will get past it. I still think about her everyday and you will also. Just think of all the wonderful times you had together. That is my advice! Sorry for you loss!

Answer 3

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her
seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of
that Brokeback-Mountain **** in our garden

Answer 4

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers cause it's soooo-ooo-oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own............so does she.

Answer 5

I am so sorry. I had to have my dog put down about 3 years ago after 16 years with him. I am going to send you a joke. Its funny its a blond joke but Its so funny if you are blond sub brunette. I am blond and I love it. I am also going to send a cute poem.
*****************************************
The Blonde and the Beauty salon

A blonde went to a beauty salon to get a haircut.
When the beautician approached the chair where
the blonde was waiting, she noticed that she was
wearing a walkman.


The beautician took the blonde to her styling booth. She asked
the blonde, "Please take off the walkman so I can cut your hair."
The blonde replied, "I can't do without it, just cut around it."

The beautician shook her head in disbelief and started cutting.
A few minutes later the beautician stopped and asked the blonde,
"I just can't cut your hair properly while you are wearing
that walkman. Please take it off."


The blonde replied, "I just can't live without it,
cut around it please." The beautician started cutting
again and finally had had enough. The beautician
reached down and pulled the earphones from
the walkman off the blonde.


Just as she did so the blonde froze, then fell out off the chair and
on to the floor. The staff at the salon rushed to her aid only to
discover she was stone dead. All were stunned! The beautician lifted
the earphones to her ear to listen to what was so important to the
blonde.

In a soft but commanding voice she heard,
"Breathe in.......... Breathe out............
Breathe in.......... Breathe out............
Breathe in.......... Breathe out............"
-----------------------------------------------------------
.
A Little Laughter...goes a long way

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffe
Many dog butts-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy-come to kill us!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend-come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader-come to kill all-
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat-come to kill us!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more. I call
Them a vocation

My owners' mood is
Romantic. I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.