Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

it think i am my self reborn!

2007-03-05 11:22:50 · 11 answers · asked by uknown person here 1

The get-away-lady with the red hat and raincoat

2007-03-05 11:20:05 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

FUN THINGS TO DO WHILE DRIVING:

At traffic lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. with a look of fear and lock your doors.
stop @ green lights.
Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
Wave @ plp often. if they wave back, offer an angry look & an obscene gesture.
restart ur car every stop light.
hang numerus car-fresheners on the rear-view mirror. talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
WARNING SIGNS OF INSANITY:
everyone u meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places u wouldn't expect tentacles to be grown from.
plp stay away from u whenever they hear u howl.
u laugh out loud during funerals.
u begin to stop & consider all of the blades of grass uve stepped on as a child, &worry that their descendants r going to one day seek revenge.
u have meaningful conversations with ur toaster.
u argue with urself about which is better: 2 be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.
u try 2 make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity
0>:}<

2007-03-05 11:18:51 · 13 answers · asked by Rosenrot_663 2

Date and where he died.

2007-03-05 10:47:03 · 7 answers · asked by fisas i 1

Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."

"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep ****."

2007-03-05 10:44:55 · 25 answers · asked by Ana♥Banana 3

2007-03-05 10:43:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Well, who knows the answer???
- Jazmine ♥

2007-03-05 10:36:27 · 19 answers · asked by Lil' Jazz 1

k some1 in my homeroom keeps on asking everyone this question so i just wanna know.

2007-03-05 10:33:01 · 13 answers · asked by Lil' Jazz 1

You walk up to a mountain that has two paths. One leads to the other side of the mountain, and the other will get you lost forever. Two twins know the path that leads to the other side. You can ask them only one question. Except! One lies and one tells the truth, and you don't know which is which. So, What do you ask?

2007-03-05 10:31:02 · 4 answers · asked by Curious George 4

Name all of ABBA's (charted) No 1 records in the UK, in the correct order though.
Let Battle commence!

2007-03-05 10:28:30 · 17 answers · asked by Question 4

there are two boys born in the hospital on the same day same month and same year with the same parents but are not twins how can this be?

2007-03-05 10:28:27 · 14 answers · asked by niecy 2

Three men were being punished by twenty lashes each.

The man with the whip said to the first man, "ok, you can have something on your back to dull the pain".

"I'll have oil on my back", he said, the whipping starts,
and he screams in agony.

Ok, Wilson, your turn, what do you want on your back?

"I don't want nothing on my back, bring em in"!

The whipping starts, "keep em coming", says Wilson, "eighteen, ninteen, twenty, huh! -----Didn't feel a thing"

The last man's turn came, what do you want on your back?
ME-------------"I WANT WILSON ON MY BACK"!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, just think yourself lucky you didn't get the end of the joke first. That's the way I usually tell them;-)

2007-03-05 10:25:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Where can I listen to the clorox jingle, "Mama keeps whites fresh like the sun shine, mama uses the magic of clorox two." or something like that.

2007-03-05 10:24:23 · 3 answers · asked by Bradley K 1

ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?" The woman is curious, so she spends the night with him. When she sees him the next day, she hands the cowboy a $100 bill. "I'm flattered," he says, blushing. "Nobody has ever paid me for my prowess before." "Well, don't be," the woman replies. "Take this money and go buy yourself some boots that fit!"

2007-03-05 10:21:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

A person claimed that he was the brother of a famous scientist. But the truth was, he had no brother.

How could he have claimed that he was the brother of a famous scientist?

2007-03-05 10:20:02 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he
looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now
that
Grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my
bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel
good
and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.She started
adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix
the problem when suddenly the door bell rang. Before Grandma could say anything, the little boy ran fast to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."


The minister fainted.

2007-03-05 10:18:15 · 10 answers · asked by oh snap! 1

I've got an act tomorrow. I've actually got some pretty nifty jokes but does anyone have some great ones they'd like the share? What are your favorite jokes, ones that make you laugh like crazy!

2007-03-05 10:10:32 · 13 answers · asked by Judy 2

2007-03-05 10:08:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under the water for over 5 minutes, then she hangs him. 3 minutes later they go out to eat together... how can this be?

2007-03-05 10:04:16 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-05 10:01:39 · 9 answers · asked by Curious George 4

What slides nicely between a womens breast, fits neatly into a hole and works best when jerked........


A Seatbelt you pervert.....

2007-03-05 10:00:50 · 6 answers · asked by maddferit 2

1. There is an electric train going north, which way does the smoke go?

2. A rooster laid an egg is it a boy or a girl?

3. There is a plane going from Italy to Canada it crashes on the border of Canada and the United States, where do you bury the survivors?

2007-03-05 09:59:38 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

gfdgggffdfafdafdfadfd

2007-03-05 09:58:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Wasn't me

2007-03-05 09:56:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

What would you do with it? Best fun answer wins.

2007-03-05 09:55:29 · 3 answers · asked by Yafooey! 5

2007-03-05 09:54:23 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

just wondering, im not gonna play them on anyone.

2007-03-05 09:49:40 · 6 answers · asked by bulletprooflonliness 4

if the blue house is on the left and the brown house is on the right where is the white house?

2007-03-05 09:48:30 · 16 answers · asked by niecy 2

2007-03-05 09:47:53 · 3 answers · asked by Jennifer M 4

2007-03-05 09:41:20 · 2 answers · asked by maskmanmikep@verizon.net 1