Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

2007-03-07 01:16:29 · 39 answers · asked by maddy 1

I know alot of people are against same sex mariages, but what about If a skitzofrenic gets married? Does that count?

I've always woundered, do gay skitzofrenics hit on themselves when they see a mirror?

Have you ever woundered why we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway???

Why does drive up ATMs have brail for blind people????

Why do skating rinks have handicapped parking places???

Why do they put brail on those little bitte restroom signs that you have no hope of finding anyway.

2007-03-07 01:16:06 · 2 answers · asked by Remnant 2

I have a good friend but I dont know whats wrong with her now.
she used to text me jokes whole day n we used to chat on texts alot, after she sends me texts n all I used to chat with her or talk to her in the evening when I am free.
I hv been busy in my family so used to keep her wait for whole day for even my 1 text.
She used to immediately response to my texts n calls.. but now she stopped texting me and she talks to me now also whenever I want.
she used to give me alot of attention. We have been very close friends. I must say I really had test her patience I used to make her wait whole day and then I used to chat or talk to her for half an hour then I used to say bye.. She never used to say anything to me but I didnt do it on purpose I was really busy.
Do u think I have hurt her with my behaviour? I feel like nw she is ignoring me? what should I do to get her back? She is a lovely friend, I can count on her in my needs.
did I neglected her? did I hurt her? please please help

2007-03-07 01:15:11 · 6 answers · asked by lets_smile07 1

2007-03-07 01:13:37 · 14 answers · asked by CHAAAAAAARGE! 2

Thi swas told toi me by coggins (my cousin from manchester)

Why did Manchester City biuld their stand facing Mosaid district???





so the fans could see more shots

2007-03-07 01:07:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

i see a few faces here time after time and a few new ones if im liked i will keep going

2007-03-07 00:56:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ayoung girl say to her teacher
-My cat add 4 kittens and they are all of Manchester United
The techer replies
-How good, tomorrow when Sir Alex Ferguson come to our school to visit us you say that ok?

The next day sir Alex Ferguson goes to visit the school and the techer asks the litle girl to say the thing about the kittens, and girl says
-my cat had 4 kittens and 2 are from manchester united
The teacher says
-But yesterday you said that they were all from Manchester United...
And the girl replies
-Yeah but 2 allready opened up their eyes!

Worth a star?

2007-03-07 00:53:38 · 12 answers · asked by pervertidamente 2

A guy walks into a bar & sits down next to a beautiful woman. They start talking, and after a few cocktails, she invites him back to her place for some loving.

Being a bloke, he responds with an enthusiastic “yes” and they are soon on their way.

After they arrive at her place, things heat up fast & she suggests a s_i_x_t_y 9

He responds with, "You know, I don't get out very much and I'm not totally hip to some of the new lingo."

"Oh, that's okay. Just follow my lead," she says.

Within a few minutes he gets the idea and things are going nicely, until she ‘trumps’.

"What the f*@k was that?!" he asks, alarmed.

"Oh, sorry," she giggles.

Not about to stop over such a minor detail, he resumes his activities. Thoroughly enjoying himself, he is completely disgusted when she lets another go - even worse than the first!

2007-03-07 00:40:43 · 17 answers · asked by Jay A 3

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that is was time to get married again.
Sheput an ad in the local newspaper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened
the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had
no arms or legs.

You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.
Just look at you .... you have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, " I rang the door
bell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday...

2007-03-07 00:39:57 · 11 answers · asked by cantthinkofauseridsohereitis 3

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

2007-03-07 00:31:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

this has probably been asked before... but whatever...

Mine contribution is,

"I wish I was the letter T, so I can always be right next to "U"

2007-03-07 00:30:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 words, both words 7 letters each, first word beginning with A, second word beginning with S. The first word has letters only from the first half of the alphabit a-n and the second word has letters from the second half of the alphabit o-z??

2007-03-07 00:18:26 · 5 answers · asked by May 1

mine is what blue and does not fit?

a dead epileptic

2007-03-07 00:10:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

give your left arm to be ambidextrious ?

2007-03-07 00:09:25 · 11 answers · asked by Red5 5

2007-03-07 00:06:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day, I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning.

Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. Where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words, "Rough Road."

2007-03-07 00:02:09 · 6 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

2007-03-06 23:59:54 · 4 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

2007-03-06 23:58:25 · 7 answers · asked by ride_colorado 1

A farmer recently entered the record books as the first man to successfuly grow an entire harvest of V.IBRATORS on his small farm.
His biggest problem was squaters !

2007-03-06 23:55:12 · 9 answers · asked by trickyrick32 4

2007-03-06 23:51:03 · 13 answers · asked by Joe Ninety 2

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.


as quoted by oscar wilde man did he have a mind on him

2007-03-06 23:50:59 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tell who am i?
I am a thing.

Teachers hate me.

Cow likes me.

Monkey eats me.

I am a 9 letter word

*o**m**y*

tell who am i?

2007-03-06 23:14:15 · 5 answers · asked by Kozhiii 1

My friends told me he is expecting a large Wooden Box , and with what is inside he will beable to complete his mission. I dont know what his mission is,,,,but was just wandering what sort of thing would u get tho the post in a Large Wooden Box???

2007-03-06 22:57:00 · 10 answers · asked by Kaybina 1

2007-03-06 22:48:45 · 5 answers · asked by saghar s 1

Is it like Beck's cyanide breathmint?

2007-03-06 22:22:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-06 22:22:12 · 10 answers · asked by Jordy[♥] 3

2007-03-06 22:16:11 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

would you be satisfied to receive a laugh as an answer to your question..?

2007-03-06 22:15:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watch
switches. Which Swedish switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch
switch?

2007-03-06 22:00:18 · 34 answers · asked by pervertidamente 2

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his
dad
bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly dismounts,
worried
about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"

The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and
sometimes
I have to get on top of it and help flatten it."

"Your wasting your time," said the boy.

"Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on
her
knees and blows it right back up."

2007-03-06 21:58:36 · 8 answers · asked by Smooth 3