Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

hurry up be the fisrt to answer correctly and it doesnt count if you edit your answer to the right answer

2006-06-13 06:33:36 · 30 answers · asked by Taylor G 2

2006-06-13 06:31:21 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

three guys walk into a library, the first asks the librarian where he can find the science fiction, the librarian points him in the direction, and he speaks in clingon and thanks her, she feels out of place so she helps the second guy, he is looking for adventure books, she points him in the direction he needs to go so he takes out a whip, attaches it to the rafters and swings over to the books, the third guy asks where he can find the adult books, the librarian says they do not have them there, so he tells her he is looking for some gay male photo shoots where the guys are making out with each other, the librarian looks at his name badge and says, 'scooby doo, you are a sick person!!'

2006-06-13 06:29:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A girl looks at a man’s tatoo. NIKE on his arm, REEBOK on his legs. She screamed when she saw AIDS on his penis. He said relax, when it’s errect it reds ADIDAS.

Q: Whats the similarity between woman and a condom? A:Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Q: Why r women considered stronger then men? A: Bcoz women carry two mountains on their chest while men carry only 2 stones with the help of a crane!

I Tried Phone Sex Once, But The Holes Were Too Small.

Man walked into ladies toilet.Lady who was inside shouted ‘THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN’.The man, unzipping his pants s�id ‘THIS TOO’!

WHAT’S WRONG WITH UR MOB??I Tried Calling Many Times! Everytime I Dial Your No, The Operator Kept Saying “The Person u r Calling is Having SEX, Pls Try L�ter!”

Nipple Nipple dont be far,can I Press u in my car.Up above thechest so high, always milky never dry.Let me suck u dont feel shy,in the brasiers u will die.

A guy walks up to a sexy babe n asks her if she would like to take part in a magic trick. She said OK. He says lets go to my place we **** n then U disappear.

5 road signs which best describe female organs 1.deep excavation 2. Slippery when wet 3. Stop on red signal 4. Slow down curves and hump 5. Men at work

2006-06-13 06:20:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

a bull sat on me for 2 hours..
so many people tried moving that animal but it did'nt get off..
n that stupid animal was not moving..even when so many people tried to show him a red cloth...
tell me..what the hell should one doooooooo...??????????????????????????

2006-06-13 06:19:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

haha. i just reached 200.

2006-06-13 06:16:56 · 35 answers · asked by [?] PANiC 2

2006-06-13 06:08:12 · 13 answers · asked by Sparky 1

they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

2006-06-13 05:49:26 · 12 answers · asked by Laura 4

i trully need to know, its always bugged me that i dont know the answer.thanks for answering.

2006-06-13 05:41:05 · 20 answers · asked by Sildav 2

Yes im sure youve all heard this one before but im quite new to 'Answers' you should be nicer!

If a blue house is made of blue bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow bricks, and a red house is made of red bricks, whats a green house made of?

2006-06-13 05:40:41 · 22 answers · asked by Delgado 3

*wink*

2006-06-13 05:39:03 · 14 answers · asked by Laura 4

2006-06-13 05:36:19 · 10 answers · asked by Laura 4

2006-06-13 05:35:42 · 7 answers · asked by Laura 4

Lou Ann passed away and Billy Bob called 911. The 911 operator told Billy Bob that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Billy Bob replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause, and finally Billy Bob said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Pine Street and you pick her up there?"

2006-06-13 05:27:09 · 9 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

I know this isnt a joke or a riddle but i like the people who use this section cuz theyre fun!

2006-06-13 05:15:59 · 6 answers · asked by Delgado 3

2006-06-13 05:08:11 · 16 answers · asked by union_lonely_girl 3

A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get help and she replied that she couldn’t because she didn’t have any clothes on. He replies, “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”

She takes the shoe and runs to the closest gas station. She finds the clerk and says, "Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?" The clerk replies, "I’m sorry, I think he's too far in."

2006-06-13 05:06:00 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Well i was walkin down di street, wid ma du rag oooonnn,
when a cop pulled me a gun and said,
"u look lik 0 cent. autograph?"
i said
"you look lik a penny. hahahhahha."
so ize walkin down the street an schoolin da police,
when suddenly i found i was fresh out of weed.

2006-06-13 05:02:46 · 7 answers · asked by Bootlegger_bob_the_gangster 2

2006-06-13 04:57:35 · 32 answers · asked by iamask8tr 2

2006-06-13 04:56:26 · 4 answers · asked by chessy 1

this is just for fun.to see the answers ,I get

2006-06-13 04:51:59 · 13 answers · asked by union_lonely_girl 3

seriously. mine is "provolactics" the funnier the better. I also like
"archipieligo" and "odomodopeia"

2006-06-13 04:50:51 · 53 answers · asked by Jenster*is*flipping*you*off 6

2006-06-13 04:41:48 · 12 answers · asked by Picklez 2

Do you think that we will always know our actions when we do something or do you think that our actions reach into places we can't see and can affect someone we don't know, which one do you believe in mate.

2006-06-13 04:36:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

good joke huh

2006-06-13 04:35:23 · 11 answers · asked by Bootlegger_bob_the_gangster 2

2006-06-13 04:33:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

It is a tricky question, :) well not that much of a tricky actually.

2006-06-13 04:28:02 · 14 answers · asked by mayhemstd 1

A child is walking down the hallway to his parents' room and peeks under the door to see if they were still awake. angerily he gets up and walks toward his room and mumbled, " and that ***** gets mad at me for sucking my thumb".

2006-06-13 04:25:20 · 3 answers · asked by Texas Chic 2

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.
This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occured, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, "Oh, Crap!"
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were...
"Hold my beer and watch this!"

2006-06-13 04:21:42 · 6 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home when I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too... When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY

I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.

2006-06-13 04:06:31 · 13 answers · asked by rogdogg187 5