Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-13 12:14:34 · 12 answers · asked by jcr_0830_2005 2

What is round,brown and sounds like a bell?

2006-06-13 12:13:08 · 11 answers · asked by cave dude 3

2006-06-13 11:34:05 · 18 answers · asked by Midnight Dynamo 3

2006-06-13 11:31:16 · 9 answers · asked by gene 1

2006-06-13 11:30:21 · 16 answers · asked by murft66 3

2006-06-13 11:29:09 · 8 answers · asked by gene 1

2006-06-13 11:24:40 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

im really bored and i wanna laugh. i heard when you laugh u loose 5 calories and it adds 5 second to your life

2006-06-13 11:23:09 · 8 answers · asked by Emily 3

LOL!!!!111one *roundhouse kick*

2006-06-13 11:18:44 · 14 answers · asked by DJ Hewi 1

2006-06-13 11:13:52 · 28 answers · asked by blah 1

I'm looking for something that will make me laugh my *** off. 10 points to the best one

2006-06-13 11:07:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

'Albert,' she says, 'Please be careful when you're driving back. I just heard on the radio that there's some maniac on the M1 motorway. He's driving the wrong way!'
'Its not just one,' Albert replies, 'There's f*cking hundreds of them!!'

Right folks, theres one to get the ball rolling. Lets hear some jokes!

2006-06-13 11:07:00 · 11 answers · asked by Sit tight 1

2006-06-13 10:59:53 · 5 answers · asked by suga coatz 3

Flash !! This just in from reliable sources, be aware...The Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, golfers and tourist in general to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in: Alachua, Marion, Lake, Collier, Lee, Seminole, Osceola, Polk, Brevard, Putnam and Orange counties.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their shoes or clothing to alert but not startle the alligators unexpectedly. They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity. People should learn to recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers. Adult alligator droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

2006-06-13 10:43:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo
of another man on her nightstand by the bed? He begins to worry.

Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well, who in the he** is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

2006-06-13 10:40:34 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-13 10:39:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

the reson why warning lables are there because some one did it before! heres a couple of dumb warning lables!
a)Unknown Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

b)Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

c)Unknown Vacuum Cleaner
1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids 2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.

d)Life saving device
This is NOT a life saving device!!!

e)Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

f)Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

4)Interstate 10, Near Phoenix, AZ
State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers

5)Rim Drive, Durango, CO
Warning: Do Not Hit This Sign

6)Various Parts of Jamaica
In Jamaica, they call Speed Bumps "Sleeping Policemen", so in some parts of the island, there are signs that read, "Warning! Sleeping Policemen Ahead

2006-06-13 10:37:49 · 17 answers · asked by hunter 3

Here's my joke--ohhh's mama is so fat, her underwear, are bigger than Shallow Hal's girlfriend's

2006-06-13 10:20:51 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
The little dog laughed to see such a sport
and what the hell does this have to do with dinner utensils

2006-06-13 10:17:37 · 10 answers · asked by dude 1

2006-06-13 10:16:54 · 12 answers · asked by David B 1

2006-06-13 10:15:19 · 24 answers · asked by dtownma1 1

what was the presidents name in 1950

2006-06-13 10:11:50 · 31 answers · asked by Child Of God 4

its' a joke!

2006-06-13 10:04:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once upon a time there lived a king.


The king had a beautiful daughter,

The PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.


No matter what;

metal,

wood,

stone,

Anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.


The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,

"If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, She will be cured."


The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.


The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.


The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.

The prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.



But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.


He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached.



He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."


The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.


She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.


And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed.



Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.


And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.


Question:



What was in the prince's pants?

2006-06-13 10:04:05 · 7 answers · asked by Answers 5

SNEEZING PARROT

2006-06-13 10:03:45 · 8 answers · asked by cazzcull 2

2006-06-13 09:58:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Since "throw" is the homonym in the situation, this question iz confusing because some say no and some say yes. I mean, he needs hand to buy the crap for the party, right? Tell me what you think.

2006-06-13 09:47:20 · 4 answers · asked by AN0NYM0US 2

1)Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours

2)If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

3)Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer

4)The world is more like it is now than it ever has been before

5) i think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series; unless we lose Game 5

6)As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error
http://www.dumb-quotes.com

2006-06-13 09:47:14 · 6 answers · asked by hunter 3

2006-06-13 09:41:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

First to guess it right gets ten points!!!!!



good luck!!!!

2006-06-13 09:27:10 · 23 answers · asked by J-Rigg 2