Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

Little Susie comes home and tells her mother, "Mommy, Timmy gave me $5.00 to do a cartwheel in front on him while he sat up in a tree!!!" Little Susie's mother says,"Susie, you shouldn't have done that! Timmy only wanted to see YOUR PANTIES!!"
The next day Little Susie comes home and says, "Mommy, Timmy gave me $10.00 to do a cartwheel in front of him while he sat up in a tree!!" Little Susie's mother says, "Susie, didn't I tell you that Timmy only wanted to see YOUR PANTIES??!!" Little Susie says, "Un,un, Mommy. I tricked him this time! I DIDN'T WEAR ANY PANTIES!!!!"
What do you think?

2006-06-14 08:40:25 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-14 08:39:18 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-14 08:37:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

He was hangin 1 foot off the ground from a rope and there were no chairs or anything for him to stand on. The only thing in the room was a puddle of water below his feet. How did he die?

2006-06-14 08:30:41 · 25 answers · asked by jesusfreak_200513 2

A man(man #1) who lives in his house died. the man(man #2) who killed him lived over 5 miles away and did not come with in 5 miles of the man. All man #2 did to kill him was turn off his light before he went to bed. How did this kill man #1?

2006-06-14 08:23:55 · 33 answers · asked by kasully16 3

1 - W__ on a U__.? What words finish the riddle?
ex. 11 - P__ on a F__ T__.? = 11- Players on a Football Team.

2006-06-14 08:19:47 · 12 answers · asked by cornholio9631 5

Tell me a joke I have never heard. Whoever makes me laugh hardest gets 10 points.

2006-06-14 08:19:06 · 19 answers · asked by kitcat 3

First person that gets it right wins 10pts!

2006-06-14 08:02:20 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need a real funny (but safe) practical joke that I can play on my co-worker. Any suggestions??

2006-06-14 07:57:00 · 9 answers · asked by ♥--->{Shauntee}<---♥ 4

2006-06-14 07:44:01 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is the sentence thus formed funny?

2006-06-14 07:43:09 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, but absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

2006-06-14 07:29:14 · 3 answers · asked by a_shy_spirit 3

You die and find yourself in a room with two identical doors. You know that one door leads to Heaven and the other leads to Hell but you don’t know which is which. In front of each door is a person and you know that one will always tell you a lie and the other will always tell you the truth but again you do not know which is which.

You are only allowed to ask one question to one of the people. What do you ask to make sure you go through the correct door?

2006-06-14 07:21:42 · 17 answers · asked by ebk1974 3

2006-06-14 07:15:46 · 20 answers · asked by adunb 1

There is one door on every side of this house and all doors face South. A bear knocks on one door. What color is the bear ?

Answer and reasoning please....

2006-06-14 07:08:46 · 26 answers · asked by bbq 6

2006-06-14 06:58:07 · 21 answers · asked by MRS. EFRON ♥ zac 3

Right, this actually happened today.

There are three girls, X, Y, and Z sitting in that order in a row of desks. They are given an assignment to answer three questions, each taking five minutes to answer. They decide that if each girl does one question then they copy each others' answers, they will take less time.

What is the quickest time they can all have answered one question and copied the other two? taking into account the following conditions:

*A girl must complete her own question before copying anyone else's
*Two girls next to each other can copy from a book at the same time
*A girl must have her own book to copy the answer into

2006-06-14 06:53:50 · 26 answers · asked by pittising 2

is next to that blue area?

2006-06-14 06:39:19 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was this preacher and family....he asked his wife to go to store and get ham for dinner....she went to store and told butcher she wanted a ham for dinner...butcher said i got this damn ham over here!!! wife said dont talk to me like that im a preachers wife....he said thats the name brand of the ham...damn ham...she said ok....took home cooking dinner preacher husband said you get ham? she said i got the damn ham in oven...he looks at her says what got into you? she explained that it was name of ham he said ok...older children overheard this conversation and all set down to dinner.....husband said give me knife i cut this damn ham....oldest child says give me some damn ham....other child say give me damn ham...youngest child looking around wide eyed and said if thats the way its going to be pass me the f.u.c.k.e.n potatoes

2006-06-14 06:37:48 · 21 answers · asked by good guy 4

I am worried my cutting and pasting is going to catch up on me.

2006-06-14 06:19:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have noticed the more points I acrue the emptier my life becomes. Is Kevins postion on the leader board a "cry for help".

2006-06-14 06:16:28 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Any religion

2006-06-14 06:12:37 · 4 answers · asked by mikayla_starstuff 5

Got a big day ahead of me....Home organizer - though today I'm organizing a clients basement! Dusty, lots of cobwebs, musty but that's my job...I'll organize anything! Hoping for a few laughs before I go play with some Spiders!

Thanks!
SmileyCat : )

2006-06-14 06:10:58 · 7 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

why you no lika patrick swayze, what he eva do to yous guys??

2006-06-14 05:48:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

My first three letters are a term for golf,
While my second, third, and fourth are drawings.
My first four are less than a whole,
And all of me is a celebration.

What am I?

2006-06-14 05:47:25 · 8 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

(Thing 1)
I, at the start, am old
Many centuries I've been told
Used by the Greeks
For counting techniques
After things were bought and sold

Later is when I became known
As an infinite figure, when shown
You've counted my spaces
Over two billion places
And still, my amount, is unknown

(Thing 2)
I, too, am not young
I'm almost as old as Thing 1
I am just a frog
On the natural log
But I can make counting fun

(Thing 1 and Thing 2)
When you combine us two
In the order of Thing 1 and Thing 2
I'll be a baked treat
That's tough to beat
Whether cherry, peach, or aloo

2006-06-14 05:43:24 · 7 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

I am having a really bad day today. I have had nothing but bad news and disappointment! I know it will be better tomorrow, but right now I could use a laugh. Can you help??

2006-06-14 05:41:53 · 23 answers · asked by helly 6

"See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

2006-06-14 05:38:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Take the letters ERGRO. Put three letters in front of it, and the same three letters behind to form a common English word. First one with the correct answer gets the "coveted 10 points"!

2006-06-14 05:30:47 · 9 answers · asked by ☼Shiloh☼ 2

three sky divers were ejected from an aero-plane, the first one did a cool loop-d-loop, and opened his chute, the second one had to do something cooler, so he spun in a couple of circles did more loops, and did a couple of cartwheels in the air, the third guy was sure to do betta, so he rips off his shirt and parachute, and he showed everyone his manchest whilst floating down to the earth as if by some strange force, he touched down to the ground and was unharmed, in fact he just glided down as if guided by angels, and all the onlookers were like, 'man that patrick swayze can achieve anything!! it must be great to be his chest hair, i mean him!!'

2006-06-14 05:30:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous